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Healing With Feelings, by SueGR98
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This page contains the thoughts and opinions of a member of the wiki and is controlled by that person. The editorial standards that apply to the rest of the wiki aren't enforced on this page, but Policies and Guidelines apply. |
[edit] Pandora'sbox
Posted on February 23, 2011 by Sue G Out of sheer laziness I've now learned that I can be pain-free without yoga. In the past week I have not attended any classes, nor done any yoga on my own. I haven't even felt stalked by the pain. And yet, … Continue reading →
[edit] clarity
Posted on February 18, 2011 by Sue G Today I learned something about anxiety in relation to mindfulness. When you are not perpetually, globally anxious–the onset of anxiety can actually be a signal that you are heading into dangerous waters. Who knew negative/painful feelings can actually serve a … Continue reading →
[edit] observing
Posted on February 15, 2011 by Sue G I've decided that my awareness and observation of the times when I have let my pain-body take over me is enough, or at least the best I can do for now, except when I am in the midst of it … Continue reading →
[edit] a win for pain-body
Posted on February 12, 2011 by Sue G My pain-body scored big time today. I was ruminating about the upsetting meeting I had yesterday and thought that sending an email to my union rep delineating the reasons I am outraged might help me let it go. I was … Continue reading →
[edit] pain-body I hear you knocking but you can't comein
Posted on February 11, 2011 by Sue G Well today was challenging: let's just call it that. I woke up with my pain-body (Tolle reference) knocking at my psychophysiological door. I had a moderately uncomfortableache in the shoulder that does not usually give me trouble. I also had … Continue reading → not struggling Posted on February 10, 2011 by Sue G “When you are not struggling to survive or to make a living but realize and are open to being lived by life: to be an expression of the One Life, not a little entity trying to make it; and so … Continue reading →
[edit] awareness
Posted on February 8, 2011 by Sue G This morning on the way to work, I picked a tidbit up from Tolle's talks in The Art of Presence that I kept with me. He suggests that you hang signs around the house saying “What is my relationship to Presence … Continue reading →
[edit] room for adjustment
Posted on February 7, 2011 by Sue G As she guides us into awkward twists, my Mindfulness Yoga teachers says often, “There is always room for adjustment.” So the almost burned brownies of last night became biscottis and they are fabulous dipped in milk or hot chocolate. I … Continue reading →
[edit] Presence can be uncomfortable
Posted on February 6, 2011 by Sue G I was wondering today why I have been so crabby on the weekends. It seems like I am crabbier at home than usual. But it occurred to me that since my schedule changed from shift work; in particular, no longer … Continue reading →
[edit] I've done my best
Posted on February 4, 2011 by Sue G This was a day when a lot of the spiritual work I have been doing paid off, though I hesitate to even say that because I don't want to combine spirituality with motive, goal or judgment. But it's true that … Continue reading →
[edit] note to self: breathe
Posted on February 2, 2011 by Sue G Another interesting day of observing how TMS affects me and my body. I had to finishup myresponse to the letter from HR that may or may not result in discipline of my employee self. That triggered bubbles of tension throughout … Continue reading →
[edit] lack of sleep–duh!
Posted on January 31, 2011 by Sue G In reviewing my posts over the last week, I see a distinct pattern–a lack of sufficient sleep, followed by a headache upon rising. Duh! I was completely missing it because I was focused on the TMSy aspects. Yes, TMS aggravated … Continue reading →
[edit] obsessing
Posted on January 30, 2011 by Sue G I've been waking up with low grade headaches for the last few days. On Friday I did a little experiment, sort of by accident. I did lots of deep breathing and stretching all day, trying to lose the headache. Nothing … Continue reading →[1]
Posted on January 28, 2011 by Sue G Well I have reached my 30th post in more days than planned and have felt significant healing from my TMS within the context of much more life drama than I ever expected. I want to keep this blog going but … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 29 – therapy stretches vs yoga
Posted on January 23, 2011 by Sue G Basic Yoga Workout for Dummies I have used this DVD several times. It is a great introduction, moves very slowly–too slowly for daily use actually, with too much chatter and boing boings with the signature “Dummies” tips. But it is … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 28 – boredom doesn't hurt
Posted on January 21, 2011 by Sue G “It's not so much that you cannot stop your train of negative thoughts, but that you don't want to. This is because the pain-body at that time is living through you, pretending to be you. And to the pain-body, pain … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 27 – breakthrough
Posted on January 19, 2011 by Sue G “Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought. It reacts to every thought as if it were a reality. It doesn't know it is just a thought. To the body, … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 26 – holding pattern
Posted on January 18, 2011 by Sue G I am in a holding pattern with pain and spiritual progress. Not moving forward but not moving backward either. The twinges between my shoulder blades continue intermittently but do not settle in. My period is starting and I am occasionally … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 25 – impatience
Posted on January 16, 2011 by Sue G I have had a couple of good days pain-wise, until today and even today was better than it has been. While the spiritual work is unlike medicine in that it does not give speedy relief– it is like medicine in … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 24 – Zumba!
Posted on January 13, 2011 by Sue G Writing last night's post–and the insights that evolved–was an antidote to the pain. I iced my shoulder too and in the past I might have given the ice all the credit. However, I had been icing it every night and … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 23 – releasing the victim within
Posted on January 12, 2011 by Sue G Another day in limbo, waiting to hear what my future will hold. I cannot shake the Shoulder Pain that seemingly arose out of nowhere a few days ago and will not relent. I forget about it when I am at … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 22 – BBLLISS
Posted on January 11, 2011 by Sue G The Terrible/Wonderful Thing is what it is, neither terrible nor wonderful because nothing is happening right now and all of it is beyond my control. I spent much of today feeling fearful and trying to prove my worth. The physical … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 21 – conversion
Posted on January 10, 2011 by Sue G “In the midst of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” Albert Camus I've been stiff and achy all day but it has not bothered me much because I have known most of it is … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 20 – relapse
Posted on January 9, 2011 by Sue G But Laura lay awake a little while, listening to Pa's fiddle softly playing and to the lonely sound of the wind in the Big Woods. She looked at Pa sitting on the bench by the hearth, the firelight gleaming on … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 19 – planning vs obsessing
Posted on January 8, 2011 by Sue G After writing about the fear last night I found it to be manageable and was able to get to sleep. Then early this morning I noticed the boom boom boom headache every time I opened my eyes. It would go … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 18 – sweet? adversity
Posted on January 7, 2011 by Sue G I had a decent day though I have been ignoring an on and off headache since this afternoon. By saying I've been ignoring it, I am acknowledging it; however, I believe it has stayed manageable due to my efforts not … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 17 – fight vs flight
Posted on January 6, 2011 by Sue G I have got to be going through some huge karmic lesson. The Terrible Thing happened after I embarked on this spiritual mind/body journey and I feel like I am running a marathon with flaccid muscles. I will soon either be … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 16 – not freaking out
Posted on January 5, 2011 by Sue G I have already fallen asleep once tonight by getting into the Present but 30 minutes later, Tomorrow rudely woke me up. I kept trying to return to that peaceful place and finally decided a blog entry might help. I have … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 15 – sweet relief
Posted on January 4, 2011 by Sue G No pain today and I have put minimal thought into resolving the Terrible Thing. I did have one nightmare about getting into a shouting match with my boss, in which I was accused of sabotaging myself by having an attitude. … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 14 – the Unmanifested
Posted on January 3, 2011 by Sue G I skipped yesterday because I was too exhausted at the end of the day to reflect, much less write. It was my daughter's birthday and I had people over, mostly adults. The kids' party is next week. I found the … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 13 – letting go
Posted on December 31, 2010 by Sue G “Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” Eckhart Tolle Today, I have been like a walking lab speciman that proves I have TMS. The Terrible Thing that happened yesterday has not … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 12 – the Now
Posted on December 30, 2010 by Sue G I am skipping the exercises for today because Dr Schlechter's questions are not going to be good ones to deal with today. I am learning from Ekhart Tolle about choosing to be conscious vs. unconscious. Continue reading →
[edit] Day 11 – catharsis
Posted on December 29, 2010 by Sue G I had a day of emotional catharsis and insight. It sucked. But it was helpful in this TMS recovery process. I was pain free all morning and got to work in that same state. My manager then started things with … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 10 – again
Posted on December 28, 2010 by Sue G What? Is it Groundhog's day you may ask? No, not yet. I am repeating day 10 until I actually look at Dr. Schechter's workbook again. The last two days had me feeling kind of stuck and unreflective because my sinus … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 10 – choices
Posted on December 27, 2010 by Sue G I am repeating day 10 because I haven't actually used Dr. Schlechter's workbook for a couple of days and I don't want to miss the exercises. Dr. Sarno says that people with TMS are prone to perfectionism. I am NOT … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 10 – mini-implosion
Posted on December 25, 2010 by Sue G I am coping but just barely. My period, a head cold, Christmas day tomorrow with family THEN I have to go to work (and am scheduled for six days in a row). I want to opt out of it all. … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 9 – a pretty good day
Posted on December 24, 2010 by Sue G It's been a pretty good day, which is surprising. We are right up on the edge of the Big Holiday AND I have my period. Plus I took care of one of the patients who can trigger me. At home, … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 8 – impatient and hopeful
Posted on December 23, 2010 by Sue G In review of my first week of dealing with TMS, I am aware of an overarching theme. I do not allow myself to be angry with people who are dependent upon me for care, which includes my children and my … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 7 – a brief but much appreciated break from pain
Posted on December 22, 2010 by Sue G Today started badly. I woke up feeling train-wrecked and wanted to call in sick. It is hard to sleep on my schedule when the kids are on vacation. I work from 3:30 to midnight. I get home at 1:00 a.m. … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 6 – faith
Posted on December 21, 2010 by Sue G Today I wondered what the difference is between hurting from internalized emotion and hurting from actual injury. I mean, injury still can happen, right? One of my fingers has been hurting and I don't remember smacking it, but it is … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 5 – a typical day off
Posted on December 20, 2010 by Sue G A day off without much going on does not necessarily have to be painful but a couple of weeks ago during a staycation, I found myself experiencing neck pain with almost no physical stress to explain it. It was about … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 4 – family stress
Posted on December 19, 2010 by Sue G So today I had to do an obligatory family event. I am pretty sure that explains the wrist pain. I didn't make the connection until yesterday when I remembered when it started, during the divorce when I was a preteen/tween … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 3 – anticipatory anxiety
Posted on December 18, 2010 by Sue G Today was a good day emotionally, as work days go. But I think I have been conditioned, or conditioned myself, to expect work days to be hard. 75% of the time they are hard. There is no such thing as … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 2 – anger and anxiety
Posted on December 17, 2010 by Sue G A very interesting day that brought my faith–both in this TMS diagnosis and in my ability to overcome the pain psychologically–up a notch. My day started very badly with a call at home from one of my managers. … Continue reading →
[edit] Day 1 – too many aggravations
Posted on December 16, 2010 by Sue G Why was day zero not counted in Dr Shechter's workbook anyway? That means this is a 31 day blog! I had a day with too many aggravations to count. Well there wasn't much stress until I went to work. My … Continue reading →
[edit] Day Zero
Posted on December 15, 2010 by Sue G Please see my about page for an intro to me and this blog. I have been in physical therapy for about a year now. I am a rehab nurse and I have a lot of respect for the therapists with … Continue reading →
I would prefer not to have to lock this page but since it is my personal blog and not information sharing, please do not edit unless you are a moderator. If you have feedback or constructive criticism please leave it in the comments or contact me privately. Thanks for reading!
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