Day 1 Young and hopeful

I'm a little nervous to post but I've tried so many other potential forms of relief and I think maybe hearing more people talk realistically about their issues will help. I want to read things I can relate to, as anyone on this form does. I guess I'm nervous because I haven't found many similar stories to mine on the thread, however, I am still learning to navigate this site. I am 25 years old and I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder at 19. Never had any significant traumatic incidents happen in my life. My parents have been together for over 40 years happily married. (Mom had me at 40) all of my family is alive and well. Never lost anyone close to me, And I don't necessarily experience back and neck pain. My anxiety and panic causes me to feel very off balance a lot. Feels like my knees are out of socket. I lean against counters and walls a lot to stabilize. I used to experience numbness in my arms often and always just felt out of body experiences. My therapist later told me they were called Depersonalizations. Relieving to hear there was a name for my crazy. Life stopped feeling real after my first panic attack. I got the runaround from several doctors. On Prozac for 3 years when I wasn't even depressed.. Just a lot of panic all the time. She diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia at age 20! I was so young, how could this be me? All my friends had never heard of anything like it. I refused the medication for fibromyalgia. The Prozac already made me pretty vegetative. I was seeking alternative treatment so I saw an acupuncturist for a year. Did nothing. Went to physical therapy for my knees, using a special technique called "fascial counterstrain" my scalp was rubbed and my legs were stretched... she also told me to get better shoes. Luckily insurance covered a lot but not all. This disorder... Anxiety and panic... Has kept me prisoner for so long. I missed a lot of fun things because of it and never had anyone my age to relate to. I'm tired I'm feeling alone in this fight for mental peace. I am hopeful that the structure of this program will allow me to really talk to myself through journaling and maybe I can finally uncover some things to help me move on and stop letting anxiety control me.

 

Hi. You have come to the right place to heal. You write that you had a happy childhood and your parents are happily married. It doesn't look to me like you have repressed emotions causing your anxiety and panic. Are you a perfectionist or a "goodist" who wants to please everyone? It's good that you are off Prozac. Medication often makes symptoms worse. Fibromyalgia is what doctors often call pain when they don't know its cause.

You need to lift your spirits. Maybe make a list of reasons why you should be grateful. Try to find things to think about and do that can make you happy. Read the posts in the Success stories subforum to gain
confidence that you are going to be well. Don't watch the news on tv because it is depressing.

Maybe get a pet. A dog or cat can be wonderful to entertain and love you. I had anxiety and panic attacks, but my dog was a lot better than any medication.

If you haven't yet read Dr. Sarno's book, Healing Back Pain, I suggest you do so. You also can find free videos on his TMS concept on YouTube.

You are not alone in feeling anxious and panic. I notice recently that several groups on Facebook are sharing their experiences with both.


It's important to refer daily to Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders. I like this longer version:

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   Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS
   1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but it is caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears, and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does cause real pain too.
   2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or in anxiety then the blood is restricted from going to a place such as the lower back. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain. Remember, where there is no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, the pain stays because of fear and focus to physical organic symptoms and repressions.

1. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS, so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from TMS healing knowledge causing damage to anyone. TMS knowledge only helps.

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1. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER. This means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. TMSers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits,traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks it is helping you.

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1. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you won't have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed because you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.

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1. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear then I feed the pain. If I fear It is impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.

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1. Therefore, physical activity is harmless. If I want to work against the pain, I could, but it is better to lose some of the pain.

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1. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my body's ability to heal now. I can move how I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.

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1. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how it is hidden -- it's illusion; it's fear.

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10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face everyone of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present, in flow.

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   11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.

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12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling. The science behind mind- body/TMS healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of TMS. TMS will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off psychical symptoms and on emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore, ` thus making the tms of no effect. This will in return, give you the cure.