I'd feel like a great burden would be lifted from my shoulders. As it stands, I can't do the job I want to do, I feel limited in my activities despite generally increasing them, I feel limited in jobs I can do and sometimes, but less lately, I feel worried about my future. That said, I can't imagine my life without having some huge problem to worry over. I've always had something I've obsessed about, whether it's my looks when I was younger, to my health, finances, relationships. I can't imagine being happy and content. There always seems to be some huge, seemingly unfixable problem in my life. I feel like I'm fairly open to TMS, but my pain just feels physical. It's very consistent. It acts as it should and I get pain when I expect it to. It's easy to just write this off as conditioning, but It doesn't feel like it. My pain started two years ago, and I can only imagine where I'd be if not for it. I'd probably have the job I want (programmer), I'd probably have moved out from my mother and Into a different city and I'd probably just feel better about my self. I think the issue might be that, without a good job, I kinda feel like a loser. I think I have a gaping hole in my self-esteem which I tried patching from the outside - in. I feel like that's the root of the issue.