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Day 1 Truly hopeful

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Kismet, Oct 4, 2012.

  1. Kismet

    Kismet New Member

    Migraine... Like many of you the medical route for me has been unsuccessful. Medication is slightly helpful, but nowhere near enough, and the side effects scare the begeebees out of me. I've tried unsuccessfully to identify triggers, so I avoid all of the common ones. Fear takes hold when an unforeseen bright light flashes in my eye, I pass by flickering flourescent lights, the temperature is hot, or cold, or changes drastically, I have to travel by air, sun flickers through the trees when driving or riding in the car, someone wears strong perfume, etc, etc, etc. It's exhausting. It's so very very stressful, anticipating the ensuing pain and nausea that will be followed by several days of the "hangover" where I can't think straight, I'm drained with muscle fatigue, an emotional wreck, vision is blurry, and the anticipation of another attack is hanging over me like a black cloud. I know in my heart and soul that there's a mind-body connection, so I eat well, and have tried natural supplements, yoga, chiropractic, and most recently acupunture. Since beginning acupuncture treatments several months ago I had been migraine free and was thrilled. Then - two migraines slammed me this week... I feel wonderful after a treatment, and beleive acupuncture is truly beneficial for my overall health, so I will continue. But, as I aways do after a migraine, this morning once again I began my internet search for "the miracle". I'm not sure exactly where the thought came from, but thinking about events of the past weekend, I googled "suppressed emotion migraine", and it ultimately led me to this program. In my emotional post-migraine state, as I read the information about the program I became completely overwhelmed by the possibility that I may have finally stumbled upon something that could actually help me - I kind of burst, and the tears rolled. I completely fit the personality described, and know that there are emotional scars that I tell myself I've dealt with, but likely actually suppress as well as those I don't even realize are there. I have pretty much lived a life of "shoulds", often not doing what my inner self tells me to.. minor little shoulds and major shoulds that probably build and build until my cup runneth over and... migraine... I also know that I shouldn't live that way, but simply don't know how not to. The thought that I will be able to stop supressing those emotions, release them, and to learn how to stop the "should" syndrome... well, hopeful is, I guess, not nearly a sufficient description for how I feel. But I am...
     
  2. yb44

    yb44 Well known member

    Hi Kismet,

    Welcome. You are in the right place. I too happen to be a migraine sufferer so can relate heavily to all of the above. I too tried all sorts of treatments and snake oils, including acupuncture. None of them helped me a jot. Ever. Period. I'm not sure if you have read any of Dr John Sarno's books but he mentions how he linked his migraines to TMS. There is only a brief mention of migraine but when I read this, I totally got what he was talking about.

    Can you remember what was happening in your life when you had your first migraine? For me it was age 19, at college, just dumped by a boyfriend. One day I saw him waltzing around campus like butter wouldn't melt. I wanted to jump him, wrestle him to the ground and throttle him to death. Instead I went home and collapsed with this horrific pain in my right temple. I told my roomate I was dying and would she take me to the hospital. She told me to relax. It was a migraine. She suffered from them so she knew the signs. So every time I saw this particular dweeb around campus I seethed with anger and by the end of the day I was writhing in pain. Thus began a 30+ year sojourn through many trials and tribulations of life with migraines as my frequent companion.

    Despite accepting all my other symptoms as TMS and seeing relief, I could not shake these migraines. In the end I gave up trying to get rid of them. It was just too much of a struggle and you will eventually find, I hope, that rushing, straining, forcing, fearing and fretting will only prolong recovery. I found the article, Breaking the Pain Cycle by Alan Gordon a turning point.
    (http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Breaking_the_Pain_Cycle,_by_Alan_Gordon_LCSW)

    I still do get migraines but way less frequently and I simply just get on with my day as best I can. I acknowledge I may not get as many things done as I would liked or that I could start talking incoherently. I may or may not take a migraine reliever. I stopped all preventative measures last year. This included the beta blocker I had been taking for well over a decade. I also stopped fearing and avoiding flickering lights, stores selling scented candles and all the rest.

    Ah yes, the "shoulds and shouldn'ts". We metaphorically beat ourselves to a pulp with these words. Is it any wonder we hurt and suffer other symptoms like depression and anxiety?

    All the best,
    yb
     
  3. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Welcome :)

    Interestingly, an acupuncturist was the first person to identify that my headaches, foot pain, and anxiety were all related. There's a lot of wisdom in Eastern medicine especially if you see it as whole-person healing instead of fixing a structural problem. Unfortunately a lot of people use it as another pain killer which is why I think Dr. Sarno is kind of down on acupuncture (pretty much the only thing I disagree with him on!)

    I had chronic tension headache with occasional migraine-like symptoms. Another acupuncturist also told me this was all related to blocked emotions. She was also really supportive of me when I started working on TMS.

    The good news is I have way fewer headache episodes and the pain is so much less (even since stopping acupuncture 3 or 4 months ago).

    For me headaches have been the last thing to go I think because I fear them, I grew up seeing my all-powerful dad have horrible headaches and migraines, and because I tend to be up in my head a lot and overthink things.

    I think everyone represses emotions and that there probably isn't a way to take everything all in anyway. Sarno emphasizes that everyone has rage and represses it and that is totally normal! Sometimes knowing that is really comforting.
     
  4. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    Welcome, Kismet! :)

    Like Veronica, I have had chronic tension headaches/neck/TMJ stuff with occasional migraine symptoms, too. This has gone on for 18+ years now. Over the past couple of years, though, it seems to be spreading to include shoulder and arm pain, along with other annoying things such as tinnitus (rumbling in my left ear) and Raynaud's syndrome. I also have strange neurological symptoms in my left leg and other parts of my body that a neurologist informed me could be caused by anxiety (this was 8 years ago). I have tried everything under the sun, including acupuncture, to no avail. The only thing that fits is the TMS theory. I am the TMS personality through and through. As yb said, we are so hard on ourselves...it is no wonder we have physical pain and/or depression and anxiety.

    Good luck!
     

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