Lately I have been thinking about TMS and how much mine this time around is tied into my body image. We are always talking about physical pain with TMS as the reason to focus and obsess on the body, but with me and my current symptom (which is hair loss) my obsession with my body is not about physical pain but about how I look, my body image. It is a total obsession just as any physical pain symptom would be, constantly checking to see if its better, worse, my whole day revolving around how my symptoms are and fear,fear,fear around my symptoms! But for me it's how I look, rather than physical pain, yet the emotional and psychic pain of having such a change in appearance and the fear of it all is as bad as any physical pain I've ever felt. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about vanity, hair loss for me has been an entirely upsetting and anxiety producing experience. In fact I've almost never had this much anxiety over anything as I have with this hair loss. I'm sure the women can identify. So what do I do, I focus in my body image. I spend the day in self loathing and low self esteem from how my body (hair) looks, I hide and run from people and from life around me because I am so upset about my looks. The focus on my body image on this has been constant, just like it was when I had physical pain TMS many years ago. It's all I think about all day long. I shared before about recovering from a life-long eating disorder last year and how incredibly similar this was in terms of obsession and psychic pain over body image. It was the EXACT same process, feelings, emotions to the letter. With the eating disorder, my entire waking moments were focused on my body, how I looked, what I weighed, if my weight was good it was a good day,if it was bad, it meant a horrible day. I had self loathing and shame about my body and appearance from the overeating, no self esteem and similar to my hair loss I stayed away from people and social events because I was always so uncomfortable about my appearance. I am still without work, an income and at such a loss for any-type of stability. Living alone with no one to help me financially and no money or job is a terrifying experience so it's easy to see what underlying factors might be contributing to this TMS. I wonder if anyone else's TMS has manifested this way. I know that since I long since recovered from back pain with Dr Sarno that I'd be hard pressed to be fooled by many physical symptoms so perhaps this is another avenue, TMS of body image. I still have trouble thinking hair loss is TMS because its not a physical pain symptom like all the others, yet It has me preoccupied with my body the same as any other symptom I've ever had.