Sleeping "defaults" from my porn addiction caused me issues last night

Hey! I had struggled with porn for over 14 years... Have been free now for 15 months but need to share:

One of my old habits was either watching porn before bed accompanied by masturbation OR waking up an hour or two after going to bed with this seemingly possessed feeling to watch porn and masturbate

This created a default in me that is very hard at times to keep under control - I personally have to give it all to Jesus if I want to get through some nights... I am grateful to have a Wife but sometimes I shy away from sharing with her... Something I am working on!

I had this happen last night - She is out of town, and I was feeling this rush of triggering memories and thoughts regarding old porn videos I watched, the feeling of being woken up an hour after going to bed, and I also felt my arms burning which is a TMS symptom for me when something is "off"

I wonder if anyone can speak into this "default" idea
-I want to learn about this so I can add value to the men I coach to get free from porn so please, share ANY insights you may have

Any other questions for me, please ask! Thank you

 

Hi.

When anticipating temptation or bad habits, one thing that has helped me is thinking about said temptation before I am in the midst of temptation (in your case, maybe before your wife went out of town) and then connecting my thoughts to a specific Bible passage. James 1:18 has helped me greatly in this area in the past. If writing helps you reinforce ideas you could write the verse out in full and then mentally picture the words on the paper as you connect your thoughts to these words. You could also try choosing different verses or sections of Scripture each day for a while. One other thing that helped me was choosing a Scripture passage I was unfamiliar with so I had to stop to concentrate and pour mental effort into remembering the words.

This isn't the whole answer but hopefully it is helpful or will trigger something that works for you and others.

 

Thank you for this! I appreciate the comment and ideas

 

Addiction to porn is no different than any other addiction, which is why it’s handy to recover one day at a time.
Craving for relief!
Craving.
We crave the familiar brain that was high on... whatever the high was.
It’s tricky with sex.
Best wishes... be kind to yourself.

 

I would like to recommend the following book:
"What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter

See also the following links:
http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/What_to_Say_When_You_Talk_to_Yourself (What to Say When You Talk to Yourself)
http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Affirmations (Affirmations)

I wish you well on your recovery.

 

Thanks for the encouraging words - Yes, healing from porn is just like healing from another problem

 

Thank you for these resources