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Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by honeybear424, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    I just found this site yesterday...desperate to get out of this pain that has gradually worsened over the past 18 years. I am nearing the end of my rope. There is no doubt in my mind that I have TMS. I read The Mindbody Prescription last month and am halfway into Healing Back Pain. I am worse now, though, than ever. My head hurts so badly...neck, jaw, shoulders, and most recently arms....round the clock. Usually it lets up after a couple of weeks and I get a bit of a break where the pain is at a lower level, but it's not. I am a 46 year old woman who has tried EVERYTHING under the sun up until this point. I feel so bad for my husband and two teenage daughters that they have to put up with me. I feel like such a burden. Yesterday I ordered The Presence Process and The Divided Mind. I am ready to get down to the nitty gritty and free myself once and for all. Thanks for reading.
     
  2. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    Try beginning the Structured Education Program offered at this site. Just reading those books is, of course, helpful, but you also have to do something pragmatic to reorganize your consciousness, so that it isn't centered obsessively in the areas of your brain that initiate the TMS pain process. These exercises, it seemed to me at least, help move your awareness away from the paleomammalian mind to the neocortex where you can gain rational control over your condition. It'll take a month of daily work, but is well worth it for someone caught in the kind of pain cul de sac you describe here. Like Sarno says, intellectual appreciation of the TMS process isn't enough. You have to gain active control over your mind in a direct empirical fashion.
     
    David85, Forest and veronica73 like this.
  3. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    Thank you for the response, MorComm. I know that I have to take a more active role in beating this. Reading the books alone will not do it for me. I purchased a journal for myself yesterday and am ready to get busy there. I also seriously took up yoga and meditation last summer, so I have been doing both on a daily basis since August. Still, I am not improving much because I have not been seriously addressing the emotions that I know are responsible. I have been able to cut back substantially on the amount of pain medication that I take, but it is only because I "tough it out" more. I will look for the Structured Education Program that you recommend. I have seen it mentioned and it was my plan to check into it. Thank you again!
     
  4. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Welcome, honeybear!

    A few things that I found helpful were reading Mindbody Prescription several times (every time I'd finish it, I'd start again at the beginning, and then for a while I just reread the psychology or treatment chapter every day), journaling, talking with people here, and doing some of the exercises from the Structured Program.

    Hope to see you around here :)
     
  5. Linnea

    Linnea Peer Supporter

    Welcome Honeybear!

    I also advice you to do the Structured Program, I´m only at day 6, but I find it more constructive than to try and deal with the emotions by free hand. In the program, amongst other things, you will write a list of stressful events in your life and at slow speed write about each of these events, what emotions that´s connected to them etc. You´re taking them down, one by one, instead of doing a little bit here and there. At least I like that structured feeling and the fact that "someone" tells you what do do and how to. Do each program day at a time, at the same time as you read Sarnos books (or other books about TMS), write, write, cry, cry and remember yourself daily about the cornerstones that TMS is all about. And use this forum as an outlet when you´re stuck or need support! And - read the success storys that you find on the wiki, I find that very encouraging! These are just my advices to you, of course there are other ways of tackling this.

    Good luck from another newbie!
     
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  6. Linnea

    Linnea Peer Supporter

    And I´m swedish, if you´re wondering about my spelling and grammar ;)
     
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  7. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    Thanks so much for the help, Veronica and Linnea. I have bookmarked the Structured Program and very briefly looked at Day 1. I am going to start it first thing in the morning. I, too, think I will like having someone tell me what to do.

    Linnea, your spelling and grammar are just fine. :)
     
  8. Enrique

    Enrique Well known member

    Welcome to the forum honeybear424!

    You came to the right place for support on your journey to become free from the pain. Many of us are recovered from pain and some of us are still on the journey, but one thing is certain, we care about people like yourself who are in pain. 18 years is a very long time to be in pain so you might doubt that you can get better, but there are others for sure who have been in pain as long and have recovered. If you haven't seen Forest's recent video post, check it out (link below). He discusses his story of years and years of pain (16 yrs I think) and of course his recovery.

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/video-2-my-success-story.127/#post-772

    Additionally, there are dozens and dozens of success stories posted on the wiki here: http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Success_Stories_by_Symptoms_&_Diagnoses

    Warm regards and again, welcome!

    Enrique
     
  9. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

  10. MatthewNJ

    MatthewNJ Well known member

    Honeybear,

    I have found meditation and yoga to be very positive influences in my recovery. So much so that I now lead meditations for others. Also, doing this has lead me to meeting many spiritual folks and that has lead me down a spiritual path (do not read "religious").

    I do not agree with "toughing it out". But that is your choice. Using less medication is always good, but "you should not suffer" (Dr, Evans wise words) I have taken narcotic pain medication when it was bad. If you are going to do it, do so as Dr. Evans advised me. Take each pill and consciously and verbally say, "I am taking this pill for the symptom, I am working on the cause by joining this group and doing the structured program"!

    Good luck. You WILL solve this. You have found the right folks to guide you. And my feeling is, after you solve it, you will join us helping others solve it too.

    Matthew
     
    Forest and veronica73 like this.
  11. Forest

    Forest Forum Administrator

    This is wonderful and imo something that everyone should think about considering taking pain meds. Pain meds can help treat the symptom so we can function, but it is important to have this affirmation that the only way to treat the cause is the education and examining our emotions.

    Ask yourself why this is. The wiki's program is great and I really think journaling and meditating are the path the recovery. Understanding our emotions and investigating our emotions is key to recovering from TMS. However, education can also play a huge role in alleviating symptoms. A lot of people with really severe and crippling pain were able to recover by reading books and educating themsleves on TMS. Why do you think you need more? Ask yourself if you have doubts about this approach.

    Each recovery is different. Sure some people recover from simply reading a book, but a lot more journal, go through a program, see a therapist. Personally, the books didn't help me a lot, but reading success stories did. The only thing that matters is recovering from pain. Just don't rule anything out until you try it, and don't think "this isn't going to work" until you go through it. I'm so glad that you found this forum. You are in the right place and if you have any questions at all feel free to ask. Whether you recovery reading a book or it takes you a lot of journaling and seeing a psychologist, we will be here to offer any insights and guidance. Remember, if I can recover then you can also recover.

    Best,

    Forest
     
  12. Pandamonium

    Pandamonium Well known member

    Hi honeybear, glad you found us and have decided to try the TMS approach. I also felt a burden to my husband and felt I let my children down but adding guilt to the mix doesn't help. Remember none of this is your fault. Matthew speaks wise words about pain meds, as long as you take some occasionally to get you through the worst patches while you try and treat the cause of the symptoms then that is fine I think.
     
  13. sewmuch

    sewmuch Member

    Hi Honeybear and Welcome!

    Glad you found the site, and I know you will find it helpful. My advice to you is first, be kind to yourself. We are all on journeys for healing ourselves and each of our journeys are as unique as we each are. Explore the site and resources, read stories, rest, journal, breathe, participate, smile. I believe you will also find much support here.

    Everyone finds different paths which are helpful. For me, I kept a small notebook with affirmations and statements such as Dr. Sarno's 12 statements. I also used Dr. Howard Schubiner's book, Unlearn Your Pain, in tandem with this site and program and found it very beneficial. And one thing I have never posted about is one day I had a "forgiveness ceremony" where I "forgave" myself for all of the things I beat myself up about and accepted me, my life, my pain, my circumstances, and set an intention to move forward. I sort of readied myself a couple of days before and thought about release.

    Find what works for you. You will. Don't give up and let it happen.

    Best of Luck and keep us informed.
     
  14. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    Thank you for all of the kind words and the warm welcome. :)

    Enrique ~ You are right about me maybe doubting that my situation will ever change. I'm sure others who have had chronic pain for many years can relate to the disappointment that comes with failure at a particular therapy. I have tried so many things over the years. TMS, however, seems the most viable reason for why I have remained stuck and I am determined to work this through to the best of my ability (not perfectly).

    Forest ~ I guess that the reason I think that reading alone will not help me is because this has been such a long-standing problem for me. And also, though I know that I shouldn't, I do blame myself for this. I know that it is my way of thinking and being so hyper-critical of myself that keeps me trapped in this cycle of pain. Truly, I feel that I am my own worst enemy.

    Sewmuch ~ Funny how you mentioned a "forgiveness ceremony". I hope you won't mind if I use that for myself. It is so applicable to my life. For the past year and a half, I have been trying to forgive myself for many things. It at times seems futile, though, since I always go back to feeling unworthy, undeserving, and not good enough. I know deep down how important it is to my recovery to over come these feelings. That's why my mantra as I meditate each morning is, "I deserve to feel good".

    Again, I am grateful that you are all here.
     
  15. MatthewNJ

    MatthewNJ Well known member

    Honeybear,

    After reading your last post, particularly your comment about the "forgiveness ceremony" that Sewmuch mentioned, I had a "feeling" (I get those, and then tend to be correct) that you would really like Louise L. Hay. She has a website with great affirmations (http://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/). Try watching her movie "you can Heal your Life". If that resonates with you, she has a book (of the same name) that is in workbook format. She is all about forgiveness, mostly about forgiving others! Her forgiveness of another, lead her to curing her cancer! Recently I have had discussions with friends about forgiving ourselves. I am working on that one myself right now!

    Good luck, we are here for you!

    P.S. Have you checked out out 3:00 EST PPD/TMS Peer support on line chat? they are every Saturday!

    Matthew
     
  16. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    Matthew ~ I read "You Can Heal Your Life" way back in 1988 for the first time and have since read it several more times. Guess I just don't fully "get it", do I? lol
    I have read so much, tried so many things, been in and out of therapy for so long...and yet still I stay stuck and currently in more pain that ever before in my life. That's what has led me to finding Dr. Sarno's books. It seems to be the only thing that truly makes sense and I do fit the personality profile to a "t". I wasn't aware that there was a movie also made by Louise Hay, but I will check it out. Also, thanks for the info on the online chat. If I am free next Saturday, I will be here!
     
  17. MatthewNJ

    MatthewNJ Well known member

    Honeybear,
    The movie is awesome. I suggest you watch it WITH your husband and kids. They will see things you won't. Then share together! I am sure they would like to see Mom out of pain as well! I love Louise Hay. She is an example to us all! Also, finding THIS site you will find many succesful folks that will offer help. Remember, what works for me might not work for you. I have personally created my own hybrid, where I took some things from each source. KEEP AT IT. You WILL succeed.

    BTW, marriage, life, a husband a two teenagers is enough to give anyone back pain! :) I am suffering through my 15 year old daughters "attitude" right now. Yikes, I get it!
     
  18. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    I second the recommendation of Louise Hay. I love her affirmation CDs and I often have them on in the background while I'm working. Little by little, it sinks in.
     
  19. honeybear424

    honeybear424 Well known member

    Matthew ~ I have the movie in my Amazon cart. And after this morning's fiasco with the girls, you're darn right...we are ALL going to watch it as a family! LOL Why is it so easy for teenagers to get stuck on something so mundane as a cardigan sweater?! :rolleyes: I'm sure you can relate...

    Veronica ~ Which meditation CD do you have. I see that she has a few and was hoping to get the one you like. Thanks! :)
     
  20. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    I probably have almost all of her CDs :) I especially like the Morning/Evening meditations and the self esteem affirmations CD.
     

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