New here - need guidance

Hi there everyone,

I'm a 33 yrd old female who's been in "pain" for the last 2 yrs.
It started with a really bad shoulder/neck pain.
At that time (2011-2012), my new work environment was a highly stressed with a lot of pressure area.
I can also now recognize that I was putting so much pressure on myself.
From 2008 to 2011, life was a mess. My parents were not doing well emotionally.
My mom was cheating on my dad, I knew about it and I took it all on my "shoulders".
I wanted to save them. My world came crumbling down when they separated in 2011.
Being an only child, I felt a huge responsibility to take care of them.
Shortly after, I started this new a position at my work (2011).

I felt validated, I felt needed and it felt good. Everyone called me the superstar!
I had to rise up and exceed their expectations! Things weren't great. People were unhappy and leaving. We were short staffed so I took it all on my "shoulders". I felt responsible for everything.
But the superstar had to keep going - she is no quitter. Until I began to get symptoms.

One day I got numb on one side of my body. After several tests and seeing a neurologist, everything was clear. Diagnostic - stress. I took a few days and went back to it. I then started to have neck/shoulder pain.
I would wake up in the morning and I couldn't move. It was so painful.
This lasted for several months.

In February of 2012, my body was shutting down so was my mental state.
I was diagnosed with a burn-out - borderline depression.

I stopped working and I've quit my job. I started my own business and my body felt better.
Come January 2013, my shoulder/neck started acting up again. But now, I was confused.
My life is so much better. One month later, I started getting lower back pain - out of the blue!
Never had back pain in my life!! Went to see a physio - he then told me that it seemed to be a bulging disc!
Yikes! Fear set in and I started to feel worst. I could barely walk at some point.

Then the miracle came when I came across a post on the net about the book "Healing Back Pain - the mind body connection" by Dr Sarno. I read the book in one sitting. I cried. God did I ever cry.
I realized then & there that I was making myself sick. Back pain went away after I say 2-3 weeks (End of Feb 2013).

Now in May 2013, I woke up one morning and sat in my bed and BAM - left hand became numb (pinky & ring finger). I started physio, saw my doctor, saw an osteopath. All say its an ulnar nerve compression.
Its still numb. It never goes away.

So then I thought "Hmmm wonder if its TMS related...yet again".
It seems like it could well be.

I need help in finding out what I should be doing. I've read about an intensive writing program from Dr Sarno but can't seem to find it online. I've only read the book I mentioned (healing back pain) as of now.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!

Blessings,

Chantal

 

Chantal, my symptoms are primarily neurological in nature too, which have led to extreme health anxiety. (I pretty much developed a full blown phobia of ALS despite every test in the book) I started seeing a psychologist yesterday - in just one session my anxiety has diminished a lot due to some really helpful tips but I still have weird hand numbness, weakness, periodic pain down the backs of my shoulders and wrists ache. I have learned a lot journaling the past few weeks- i didn't realize how much i was repressing. my neck and back pain I had is pretty much gone- but I am still waiting to see improvement in my hands/arms that experience everything from stiffness and pain to twitching which is how I freaked myself out. I would highly recommend some therapy in addition to journaling. I also ordered David schecter's workbook off amazon and started that. I hope for healing but in the midst of the pain and incredible fear I appreciate learning so much.

 

Chantal, there is a free 42 day Structured Education Program on this site. Go to the home page and scroll down the left side looking for the SEP. It is awesome. Helped me immensely.