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New and hopeful and scared

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Mandalamichelle, Apr 8, 2013.

  1. Mandalamichelle

    Mandalamichelle New Member

    I am 42 with years of on and off back pain along with IBS, anxiety, depression, and past issues with TMJ and Carpal Tunnel. I am a very sensitive person with plenty of self-esteem issues. Having read The Mind Body book I can see how my aches and pains could be psychological. It makes a hell of a lot of sense really. yes I have a slight bulge in a disc and something minor in my hip but nothing that should cause this much pain for this long. At least no doctor has found anything significant. In fact on most days I am surprisingly flexible with no significant strength or nerve issues (even on days that I hurt)

    I am so hopeful right now but so scared. I need this to be the answer. I don't want to hurt any more. At the same time I know I use my pain as a way to escape the world. I don't want pain but if I'm going to have it I will use it as an easy out to life. I get so overwhelmed by life sometimes.

    I don't know how to begin healing. I have a good day where I get out and take a slow walk (still fearing some pain but willing to test the TMS theory) then I wake up the next day bent over like a pretzel.

    I have just started journaling and am yelling at my brain to quit using pain to trick me. What do I do on days when the pain feels so real? It scares me into doubting TMS and I go back to my heating pad afraid to move.

    I want to be a success story. I want to get my head in the right place. I want someone to tell me I can do this.

    Michelle
     
    eric watson likes this.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    you can do this- the steps in sarnos books will guide you- give it time to sink in
    don't be mad at yourself if you slip and also hold yourself accountable
    read line upon line in sarnos books - do the 12 daily reminders everyday-
    p. 82 healing back pain, and now smile, your on the journey to the cure
     
  3. Karen

    Karen Peer Supporter

    Mandalamichelle, I'm very new also and I welcome another support person. I am right there with you. I have made a few posts in the past few days that pertain to all the concerns you have. You read some of mine and I'll read yours and we can help each other out hopefully!! The people here are wonderful!! I'm glad your here with us!! Your going to make it!!
     
    eric watson likes this.
  4. Mandalamichelle

    Mandalamichelle New Member

    Thank you both. I can't believe I forgot about the 12 daily reminders! There is so much to think about. I have the kindle version of his books and think I need paperbacks so I can mark key pages. I'm going to go find those 13 reminders right now.
     
    eric watson likes this.
  5. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    One way I've been doing the Sarno's Key Thoughts is to read and study them through once, then do a series of Andrew Weil's breathing exercises. After that, I go over the 12 Key Thoughts (daily reminders) again, followed by another set of breathing exercises. The breathing exercises seem to slow me down and make me pay attention to the Key Thoughts instead of gliding over them without taking them in and processing them. Whatever works! Remember that you're just starting out. Although people have been cured simply by reading one of Dr Sarno's books, this is not typically the case. Slow steady progress with some back sliding is usually the case. If you want to read an account of one person's struggle with TMS, try reading Steve Ozanich's book, The Great Pain Deception (2011). Steve tried every which way on earth to get rid of his symptoms until he eventually overcame his TMS. You can really profit from his trials and tribulations and in the process come to admire his sheer persistence until he finally figured out the way to effect a cure. All the best to you Mandalamichelle on your journey to pain-free living and self-knowledge.
     
    eric watson likes this.
  6. Karen

    Karen Peer Supporter

    .............................................................................................

    Thank you for this Bruce, I am really going to put an effort into today.... to follow this! Slow and steady......What a great reminder !! So hard for a typical type A personality like myself!!! I am breathing........;)
     
    eric watson likes this.
  7. Mandalamichelle

    Mandalamichelle New Member

    I woke up with far less pain today but my panic/anxiety was crippling. I cried a lot, broke down and opened up to a friend and then took a walk. I always thought my life had a normal amount of sadness and pain but after talking to my friend I realize I have had a lot to contend with.

    I like to color and art journal for relaxation. I think I will do a journal page of the 12 reminders. That should help me really give them focus. I like Dr. Weil so I think incorporating his breathing into my reading and journaling will be helpful.
     
    gailnyc and eric watson like this.
  8. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    your right on track- your releasing while your crying that's ok
    I like Dr. Weil too. I think you have a wonderful idea and the walk is great
    your doing great-
     
  9. CMA

    CMA Peer Supporter

    Welcome here MandalaMichelle...I am sure you will get a lot of support here. I have begun this journey few months back and almost successful with my foot pain but dealing with terrible anxiety/panic...hoping to work through that too..Take it one step at a time...after you have done some reading consider doing the SEP. Good luck in your healing process.
     
    eric watson likes this.
  10. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Welcome Michelle - You are in the right place and are on the right path. There is always some anxiety about starting any new treatment. In my case, I think I was always nervous because every other form of treatment I tried failed. The difference however between TMS and every other form of treatment is that this method treats the cause of the symptoms. That is the ultimate difference, and why this approach is so effective.

    If you are looking for people to tell you that you can do it, then I would recommend reading some success stories. I gained a tremendous amuont of confidence in myself, just by reading how other people recovered. You can check mine out at http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/2-my-success-story.127/ . I also had wrist and arm pain along with some TMJ as well. My symptoms lasted about 18 years. If i can recover, so can you. :)
     
    eric watson likes this.
  11. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    You might also want to consider dropping in to the weekend book discussion group (2-3 pm EST) and (3-4 pm EST) chat group for people who have recovered or in the process of recovering from TMS that meets on Saturdays. Specifics are given at the top of the TMS Wiki page:

    http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/The_Tension_Myositis_Syndrome_Wiki

    Listening in to the Alan Gordon March 18th webinar may give you an idea about how ISTDP (Instantaneous Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy) works as a way of bringing out and processing deeply repressed emotions like rage, anxiety and sorrow behind TMS symptoms:

    http://www.tmswiki.org/dl/GordonWebinar20130318.mp3
     
    eric watson likes this.
  12. charcol

    charcol Peer Supporter

    Welcome to our club!

    My story can be seen here.
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/pain-in-neck-left-shoulder-arm-elbow.827/#post-6891

    The pain you're experiencing IS real, caused by mild oxygen deprivation. Having read Sarno, you're halfway there.
    Sarno says...
    1- spend 15 minutes daily, reading/reciting/believing the affirmations.
    2- discontinue physical treatment.
    3- resume normal physical activity.

    I copied those affirmations into my cell phone, as well as some key notes I took after reading Dr. Sarno. I read them out loud, slowly and clearly, thinking about the meanings. Don't get overwhelmed- do whatever you're capable of doing and what feels right. Laughing is good medicine, too!

    The pain is trying to distract you, but you're not playing that game anymore. :)
     
    cherrybomb and eric watson like this.
  13. cherrybomb

    cherrybomb Peer Supporter

    good point about the affirmations charcol, i stuck lots up around my home as my memory is so bad . Im going to write the sarno ones out too. When i heard them on his audio book 'healing back pain' i struggled to fully believe one of them but now i cant recall which one!

    Great smile by the way charcol :)
     

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