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landry lesson 33 comments

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by richard landry, May 21, 2012.

  1. richard landry

    richard landry New Member

    I was positively struck by the comments of Olin, " … decision to not think about something until you are ready to face it isn't suppression but scheduling your journaling work to the manageable level" Thank you Olin, I needed that.

    In the past my avoidance of journaling signified to me my lack of courageous responsibility & willingness to do the work necessary for my evolvement. I ascribed these deficiencies to my character weakness and fears. I prefer the thought, "…scheduling your journaling work to the manageable level".

    Lesson 33 seems replete with so much useful, insightful information I can use.
    For example:
    1. The reply of Frances Anderson to the question: "…How do I push past calendar watching, severe doubts/worry and obsessive fear?" seems to have been posed totally for my benefit, and the Anderson reply has given me more patience & willingness to do the work, see "…encourage you to respect the resistance when you notice it" (a new idea for me; it generates a bit of self-compassion)
    2. I clarified some ideas for myself by doing the journaling exercise pertaining to how perfectionism affects my life.
    A. I will not put myself in a 'performance' situation unless I have high assurance I will excel, and be perfect. (I fear criticism. I am so dependent on what others think of me)
    B. #1 above constricts my development because I avoid venturing into new territory. (I am afraid of the effort and failures encountered with trying something new. By striving for perfectionism, I deny myself much of what is available in life.)

    C. I criticize myself for #2 above. ( How can I ever be perfect? I reinforce the feeling of inferiority, and the resentment stemming from believing I am inferior. It's not fair that I am inferior. Whose to blame for this mess? Not me. I perpetuate avoiding responsibility.)
    D. I may avoid asking questions so as to NOT appear intellectually inferior or ill informed. (I give more importance to what others think of me than I give to my own opinion. I nurture low self-confidence and lose the opportunity of getting answers to my question.)

    E Conversely, I may ask a question so as to demonstrate to others how much I know. (my question is not authentic & is a sick way of getting praise & notice. It perpetuates dependence on others for my self-esteem. I continue to live a lie.)

     
  2. Forest

    Forest Forum Administrator

    Hiya Richard,

    I completely relate to your resistance to journaling. It was never something that I could get excited about doing. As this lesson points out, it's okay to have some resistance, so we do not need to beat ourselves up about it. We need to understand that it's our TMS personality at play. I also feel like if I do something it has to be done perfect. Like you, this creates a lot of pressure and sometimes I also tend to avoid things. As Dr. Anderson mentioned, in these situations it is important to have self-compassion for ourselves when this happens.

    The important thing is to simply understand how our personality affects our symptoms. When we put something off because we are feeling self critical how does this affect our symptoms? It may not be compeltely necessary to change our personality, but it is important to understand the role our personality plays and then we need to have compassion for ourselves.
     
  3. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Hi Richard,

    I hit a wall with journaling too and for me it was that it was just bringing up too much all at once. I think you have to listen to that part of yourself too and give yourself permission to ease up a little.
     

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