Day 9 I've hit a brick wall?

I've been doing really well up to now and haven't had a problem journalling or crying about anything but something seems to have changed over the last couple of days as though I have hit a brick wall and I don't know whether it's just that I feel calmer or whether I feel indifferent and therefore blocked? I felt so positive and determined about the programme during week 1 but I'm not sure how I feel any more if that makes any sense? I wrote about my most painful experience ever on Day 6 and I was surprised how emotionless I felt and how everything I wrote seemed to be quite matter of a fact and wonder if perhaps I just can't come to terms with the event/emotion as I need to or whether I have actually dealt with it, although I suspect it's the first point otherwise I wouldn't be posting this message!

 

I think most of us here have probably experienced that "brick wall" feeling Maria. I've come to view that feeling as my sub-conscious' way of telling me it's time to take a time out. My experience with it is that it has been temporary. I try to remember that ultimately the sub-conscious does everything it does to "protect" us, so if it's not allowing us to "feel" something at any given time, it has a reason - even if it infuriates us since we don't always get to know what the reason is. I suspect you will find yourself writing about your most painful experience again at some point in the future, most likely you will find it make an appearance when you're journaling about something you never even realized was connected, and there will be emotions that show up then. Everyone keeps reminding me that the sub-conscious is like an onion (as is the past) we think we're slicing right through to the center when the reality is that we're peeling it back one layer at a time. Just take the break your sub-conscious is imposing, don't push against it, just trust its trying to help you.

 

Thank you so much Leslie, I think you are absolutely right - I will accept where I am for now and stop fighting it!