Internal vs. external "rage"

Hi all! I’m new here, and I’m fascinated by all this despite the fact that it's painful (I'm a biologist - brain science has come a long way since I was in school!). I’m mostly healed from fairly severe multiple chemical sensitivities (etc) due to moving to a newly built house while experiencing the trauma of a huge flood in the old one. I have gone through a healing program called DNRS and have also supplemented with fastereft and other general stuff…I feel a LOT better - however, I noticed over the last 6 months, things just move from one place to another – within days, hours or sometimes minutes. All the joint pain is gone, but I have all kinds of other stuff – plantar fasciitis, tinnitus, eye twitches, cold/neuropathy in extremities – and now, some back pain after reading Sarno’s book Most of the time, despite all these, I feel good unless I exercise too hard. After reading Sarno’s book, of course, I realized this IS the symptom imperative. So I began doing the journaling he recommends and I feel it is helping somewhat although things are still moving…anyway, it occurred to me, and I haven’t seen it yet elsewhere, but we have Sarno’s protocol for internal factors from our experience, and then we have people with very similar mystery symptoms for other diseases which are from “external” factors such as smell, wifi waves, diet, people they’re with, allergies, etc etc. I wonder if anyone here has had both, like I believe I have (Sarno’s book describes me precisely - goodist, perfectionist, known child abuse, and very busy/hectic lifestyle) Perhaps this may also help someone if they are still experiencing some random symptoms after doing journaling etc - because some of these things are really hard to figure out - I mean, you can't SEE wifi. So I figured I’d make my first optimistic post of many – and looking forward to reading a lot more here over time! Thank you for this amazing resource!!

 

Hi lowella,

I strongly believe most of the sensitivities which we place onto external factors are conditioned responses, and are TMS equivalents. One approach is to treat it all as TMS, and believe it is TMS. Your history and patterns of symptoms support this as a general diagnosis.

Another, similar approach is to apply TMS protocols to the symptoms/conditions which you believe to be TMS related, and as you make progress on these (or even one), other conditions typically respond given time, and as they do, you build evidence that those other conditions are also TMS. For instance, as my foot pain got better, my old whiplash has essentially disappeared, and my allergy to cats likewise, without me really working those symptoms much. Start where you are confident. The more you learn and have success, I think the more you will see, as so many of us do the "it is usually TMS."

See the free programs at the Wiki, and here is a detailed post outlining Dr. Sarno's directions, if you want to stick to strictly this.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/section-1-introduction.4628/#post-28646 (Official Thread - Section 1 Introduction)

I am so happy you're embarking on this journey!!

Andy B

 

Thank you, Andy (my namesake, haha) - I appreciate your enthusiasm for me, that is very kind! It's all pretty cool stuff and makes sense. I'm starting to wonder where the end of the rope lies, as it took me one isolated event to "trigger", a year to make the smell association, then I began with vegan diet for a year (an obvious "Band-Aid" like medicine, but better for us at least), then DNRS for a year, now this...where does the rabbit hole end?! DNRS supposedly clears it 100% (I don't understand how it does that for so many people if it's a conditioned response) - it worked ok for me, and I made all these new neurons without the first form of pain and with other secondary less painful things, but that symptom imperative has sure made itself known very well now. I am confident and glad I am able to find these resources - and I understand it's all a learning process that will make us better (Andy, I like your quote about revealing strength, love, beauty). Making it top priority with two jobs, three properties and 3 kids is the trick, for me. I know. Time to let something go.

I'm still not sure about how to express anger - in DNRS we were supposed to avoid negative thoughts and behaviors completely, and I think it caused me to repress stuff even more. I'm journaling now...

So this will come with time, I'm sure, but the other trouble I am having now is isolating *which* parts of fear I identify with the most, so I can remove them, as I don't recall a lot of detail from my childhood - also repressed. I am working through some of these programs, so again am optimistic - it is incredible that this resource is all free, thank you!

 

I think this is a good insight. Allowing causes less inner tension than pretending we don't feel something.

Rather than focusing on past events, especially if the important stuff does not seem available in the moment, I suggest you gently feel into your experience moment-to-moment, attuning to your feelings and thoughts. This generally will reveal what needs to be seen/felt about the past.

 

Hi Lowella,
Andy has given you great info already, so I just want to add a few things. I don't know what DNRS is, but I can understand why it caused you to repress stuff even more because that is what would happen! You would be trying to repress emotions like anger and sadness. Many experts say this is the downside to trying to think positive all the time.
Regarding expressing anger, there is no right way. (TMS people are always afraid of not doing things the right way.) Just start journaling about things that upset you. Don't be afraid to go dark in your writing, the darker the better. Shred the paper afterward if you don't want anyone reading it. Let out your emotions when you're driving (preferably when you are alone); people will think you are on your speaker phone. Some experts advocate beating a pillow with a bat, some don't.
I hope these ideas help get you started.
Regarding fear, as with anger just start writing. Don't worry about which to tackle first. As Andy says, don't try thinking of childhood things, anything that happened even 1 minute ago is already in the past and worth writing about. You might find it triggers a memory from your greater past.

 

Very interesting - thanks so much, Eileen!! I have been typing my emotions and erasing afterwards, hoping that's close enough to writing as I really don't write much. Wow, banging a pillow with a bat! I don't know if I could take it that far. My kids are always home when I am and I have a 30 second commute so will have to figure out better places to yell. It feels fake when I try it now, but I'll keep practicing