Its been about 6 weeks since I read Healing Back Pain. Have also read all his other books. I am doing much better. I have played golf 3 times now and no pain. The fear of hurting my back is leaving me. I used to wake up in so much pain, but not any more. My neck is not as painful. And I can even drink a little wine with out the dreaded indigestion. For me, the rage inside went back many years. Putting my thoughts in a journal was really helpful for me. I noticed that when I started probing into my subconcious, my dreams became very relevant. For example; I lost my mom when I was 18 years old. It was a very difficult time, as she was diagnosed with cancer with a brain tumor. It happened so fast, the symptoms came on quick, then the surgery, then the rest home then the funeral. What I didnt realize was the rage I had buried due being overlooked by everyone during the ordeal. I did not know how serious her condition was until after the surgery. I was at her bedside when she woke after the surgery, and she looked at me as asked "who are you?" It was very devastating to me, because no one told me that this was a possibility. She never regained her recollection of me. Difficult to deal with this as we were pretty close. I did not realize how much rage against the doctors and even my father for not allowing me to be included in the discussion of the how the brain surgery may affect here memory. Now maybe even my father didnt know, but I dont know for sure. He died 6 months later. Anyway, I have regretted all my life that I never got to tell my mom how much I loved her after she was diagnosed. So about a week ago I had this dream. It was surreal. I was with my mom and I grabbed her by the shoulders and looked straight in her eyes and told her how much I loved her. It felt so good, it was like I actually told her in person. She looked straight back at me and smiled and gave me hug. I believe something changed in me after that dream. I felt like a part of me had healed. I accepted the loss of her many years ago, but I never dealt with all the circumstances leading up to her surgery and death. I really believe this rage was a big part of the process of my subconcious causing the back pain, neck pain, and stomach issues that I have had for so many years. I realize that because of the emotional trauma I experienced, I developed this faulty way of dealing with emotional pain. I would simply avoid it and focus on taking the high road. I now realize that by doing this, I basically denied my inner self of respect of comfort and of protection. No wonder my subconsious or inner self was inflicting so much pain, it was negleted for so long! So I want to thank everyone for their help over the last few months. This experience has really changed my life and given me so much hope and joy. What a self awakening. Thanks Dr. Sarno, may you rest in peace.