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How to calm in a crisis ?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by leonardo999, Aug 17, 2013.

  1. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    After a couple of weeks here and dealing with arthritic spine...and bladder pain/ urgency/ pain in all pevic areas off and on for some years.
    This flare up 6 months duration and appointment with uro in a few days as bladder has not been evealuated.... prostate ok.. psa very low........ Spine is definately holding out good with extra stresses Im putting it through... digging..running on the spot... stuff Ive not dared to do for years as it always put me on the floor.... but pelvic stuff is getting off the scale and messing me up badly... pain.. urgency...cant sleep... in the bathroom every 30 mins... burning... hope I can at least hold on till my appointment.... not into ER for sure... just getting terror struck.... any advice.... thanksssssss :*(
    Leo
     
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Leonardo. Your pain reminds me of Steve Ozanich and his long struggle to be rid of his back and other pain,
    which he writes about in THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION. It's a great book, if you haven't read it yet.

    There will be a TMSWiki call-in this coming Tuesday night about his book, and I believe it could give you more hope in your healing.
    It is to be at 9 pm central time by calling these numbers: 1-347-817-7654 and then 18311499.
    I hope you can join us at the call-in and tell about your pain.

    Have you been able to do any journaling, so you think about what might cause your pain? Journaling leads you into the past and present that bring up repressed emotions that are causing your pain. It may go back to your boyhood or be more recent. Recognizing those causes can help you to be rid of your pain. Believe 100 percent that your pain(s) are psychological, not physical. You don't even have to resolve the cause, just recognize it or them and tell your subconscious that is what is causing your pain, and your subconscious will relieve the pain.

    Think POSITIVE. You are going to heal. You will feel great again!

    I hope other TMSWiki members will offer their advice to help you. We're a community of TMS people who help each other.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  3. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    I just read this by Ozanich from THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION and hope it helps you:

    "Worrying about health (and our pain) destroys health because the focus remains on health (or pain).
    If we live only for today (live in the present, not the past or future), our worries (and pain) simply go away."
    (the words in parenthesis are mine, but I'm sure Steve would agree with them).

    Next, I'll post you about how to live in the present.
     
  4. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Hello Walt...
    Thanks a lot for the post..... much appreciated.
    Yes Ive been journaling some over the past week.... and feeling my way around... and getting to understand methods etc.
    This stuff has haunted me for such a large amount of my life.... and I used to say to friends...." how can I get so many health problems.. one after the other after the other ?"
    But now I know........ I feel some progress just in this short time.... but the low down pain is a panic maker for sure and wears me down fast....
    Thanks again Walt... have a peaceful night.... and give the dog a pat for me...... unbeatable the Lab. Best regards Leo
     
  5. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Glad you're journaling. Dr. Sarno and we others who who recovered from pain through TMS believe it's very important.

    About living in the present, here are are some of my ideas on it:


    Oprah Winfrey believes in living in the present moment. She suggests, “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
    So, too, did Groucho Marx believe in living in the present. The comedian got serious when he said, “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
    The American writer and naturalist Henry David Thoreau (Walden) (1817-1862) wrote: “You can never ignore the future, because it is the place that we are all heading, but the point is… don’t live your life constantly looking forward and ignoring the present. You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. There is no other life but this.”
    Buddha said, “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
    Jesus said it best: “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have its own anxieties. Sufficient for today is its own troubles.”
    Living in the present is a very important part of learning to dance on the meat counter.
    Herbie says, “Living in the present to me is enjoying every second we have. It’s about love and peace and how we learn to forgive.
    “When I live in the now I totally get freed up of any distractions and can become anything I want to be. This is how I think right before preaching or a gathering or praying for someone real sick. I always enter into the now at those times, but I’m also behind the cloud of glory. Living in the present is like an instant fog cleaner for the brain.”
    Since I’m still learning to live in the present myself, I surfed the web looking for ways to do that.
    Joshua Becker says, “Choosing to live in the past or the future not only robs you of enjoyment today, it robs you of truly living. The only important moment is the present moment.”
    With that goal in mind, Becker suggests considering his list of steps to start living your life in the present. I’ve modified the list, but it’s basically his, and Herbie and I thank him for it:
    1. Smile. Each day is full of endless possibilities. Start it with a smile. You are in control of your attitude every morning. Keep it optimistic and expectant.
    2. Fully appreciate the moments of today. Soak in as much of today as you possibly can – the sights, sounds, smells, emotions, the triumph and the sorrow.
    3. Forgive past hurts. If you are harboring resentment towards another person because of past hurts, choose to forgive and move on.
    4. Love your job. If you just “survive” the work week constantly waiting for the next weekend to get there, you are wasting 71 per cent of your life (5 out of 7 days). There are two solutions: 1) find a new job that you actually enjoy, or 2) find something that you appreciate about your current occupation and focus on that rather than the negatives.
    5. Dream about the future, but work hard today. Set goals and plans for the future, but working hard today is always the first step towards realizing your dreams tomorrow. But don’t allow dreaming about tomorrow to replace living in today.
    6. Don’t dwell on past accomplishment. If you are still thinking about what you did yesterday, you won’t have done much today.
    7. Stop worrying. You can’t fully appreciate today if you worry too much about tomorrow.
    What does it mean to live fully in the present moment? It means that your awareness is completely centered on the here and now. You are not worrying about the future or thinking about the past. When you live in the present, you are living where life is happening. The past and future are illusions, they don’t exist.
    Becker echoes TMS philosophy although he doesn’t mention it specifically when he says, “Not only will living in the present have a dramatic effect on your emotional well-being, but it can also impact your physical health. It’s long been known that the amount of mental stress you carry can have a detrimental impact on your health.
    “If you’re living in the present, you’re living in acceptance. You’re accepting life as it is now, not as how you wish it would have been. When you’re living in acceptance, you realize everything is complete as it is. You can forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, and you can have peace in your heart knowing that everything that should happen will.
    “If you’re living in the past, you can’t do anything about it, it’s gone. If you’re worrying about the future, you’re living somewhere that doesn’t exist. It hasn’t happened yet. If you want to change your life, the only place you can do it is in the present. But first you need to accept life as it is. When it comes down to it, your mind is the only thing keeping you from living in the present.”
    Look at Joshua Becker’s web site for more of his thoughts on living in the present and living a more simple life he calls “minimalistic.”
    How do we live in the present moment? Here are a few examples. They may sound simple and basic, but they do work:
    When washing the dishes, the old way by hand not in a dish washing machine, say to yourself,. “This is me washing dishes.” Repeat it calmly, focusing on the very act of hand-washing the dishes. Pay attention to the steps involved, the sound and feel of warm water running in the sink and down the dish, the smell of the soap, etc.
    As you repeat to yourself, “This is me doing (something),” you begin to feel relaxed. Other concerns loose importance. You’re ordering your mind to actively focus on what you are doing, and only that. Then do the same with the next thing you might be doing.

    Going upstairs to the bedroom, tell yourself what you are doing. “This is me, walking upstairs.”
    Playing with a child by tossing a ball: “This is me playing with Betsy. I’m tossing a ball to her.”
    Playing with a dog by tossing a Frisbee in the back yard: “This is me playing with Annie. I’m tossing a Frisbee to her and she’s catching and returning it for me to toss again. The sunshine feels good. The gentle breeze feels good.”
    When brushing your teeth, say “This is me brushing my teeth.
    I am calm and experiencing the present. I feel good and relaxed.”
    After a few minutes of keeping focused and repeating to yourself what you are doing, you will experience a feeling of well-being and peace. Awareness of the immediate reality increases. No room is left for thoughts about anything but the present.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  6. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Hello Walt... wow this is interesting to read...... again appreciate the time... that gives me some more to think about tonight instead of climbing the walls.
    Reading it nowwwwwwwwww.... thanks again...... gnight.
    Leo
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. Stock Trader

    Stock Trader Peer Supporter

    Or..."This is me bungee jumping!!!"
     
  8. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Mmmmmmmm never tried that..... but did get brave many years ago... and take some Hang-gliding lessons in Wales Uk.
    Just went as a photographer to document my frinds flying skills.... and got talked into doing a 2 day intro course. Lots of fun.... lots of pain.
    Pain being the use of a harness that crushed everythinhg in the trouser department whilst in flight........... aghhhhhhhh... but Im sure it helped me later on in life singinging the higher notes.
     
    Stella likes this.
  9. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

  10. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Hey Plum...thank you .... always buying books in in the past.... all sorts of healing and health stuff....and the TMS stuff now really excites what seemed like a hopeless situation I will check this out Thanks for the link...

    Regards
    Leo
     
  11. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    My pleasure. The book is a good read irrespective of the motivation. It's also courageous. How many of us would bare ourselves so openly.

    Healing is something of a jigsaw puzzle. John Sarno's gift was to show us the overall picture, much like the front cover of the puzzlebox. Ah, that's what it looks like! Our task is to assemble the pieces and they can come from goodness-knows-where or seem insignificant at the time but actually be a part of the mainframe. I am indebted to countless people here and at tmshelp for various nudges and whispers. I also suspect that oftentimes we come into some knowledge that is not for us but for another, and how lovely that life trusts us to hold such balms in safe-keeping.
     
  12. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    I can see why my life just didnt seem to work... and why I really kept out of the flow. Burried in assorted pain for so long drains any confidence... and sets you up to roam from doctor to doctor and subject to subject... just to get nowhere.
    It became a prison.... but now I found a file :*)
     
  13. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    So many things spring to mind that made me unhappy or fearful... or completely lost and useless.....

    I was sure Id break free of the "have to please" attitude when I left school... but found I needed it even more at work... or at least I felt I needed it... and what do you know about dealing with life at 16... not much.

    I remember a week or so into my first job.... and my previous exam result came in bad.... and the boss wasnt happy... neither was I. His words were... This is no good... but dont jump out of the window just yettttttttttt !

    I really was not in the right job... terrible choice for me.... Duhhh. That set me up for a few unhappy working years.
     
  14. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have a hunch that half the problem for tmsers is that they're in the wrong life, and frankly given the self-serving systems and powerlust that motors the world, it is of no surprise. We are soft souls stuck between rocks and hard places. Take your good self, you are an artist. The average work place strangles the life out of such flowering and you batter yourself half senseless trying to appease/please. It is madness and given that such 'insanity' clogs the machine, we turn on ourselves. It must be us. If only we try harder, be better, squash ourselves beyond all recognition...

    Square pegs in round holes. This calls to mind the story of The Red Shoes. It is a tale of the torment of addiction, the consequence of living a false life. Hans Christian Anderson produced the most famous rendering but sadly he dry-cleaned it. The original folk tale is as old as the hills. Best and most beautiful telling and explanation comes from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés .
     
  15. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    It is a life that will strangle you.... if you are not aware of what is happening.... and yesssssssssss its correct to say that we also strangle ourselves.
    I was just trying to finish a song in my back room... each time I got the rough recording half done.. along would come several trains.... and pow thats the end of my patience after 3 tries...... and I swear at myself,,,badly.... The trains were serving their passengers and doing a great job... but they... and screaming neighbours.... and loud hifis... aghhhhhhhhh....... yes I long for an old lighthouse.... an old dog and a guitar. Its just too crowded in my part of town... no space or peace.... yet Im grateful for a roof.
    Red Shoes sounds great........
     
  16. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I'll play-fight you for the lighthouse and old dog, already have the guitars...seriously though, you described my ideal life.
    Distractions are the worst. Oh to live in the era of the steamtrain, where I can imagine the muse alighting at your place and calming the world while she whispers in your ear.
     
  17. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Your thoughs are already in my head :*) Im stuck in the 60s and would swap my best guitar with Doctor Who... to get me back there.
    Although it never was perfect..... there were no EXPERTS and science wasnt done insideout and upside down... and wires and rules didnt intrude on our lives so much... nor did crazy unlawful laws.... and maybe the general folk who had survived the real war appreciated peace and simple freedoms.

    My grandfather was fireman on real steam trains in the 50/60s He wanted to drive but was colourblind.
     
  18. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Now we're cooking. I watched 'The Time Machine' for the umpteenth time the other day and your thoughts offer a clear solution. We need to either a) build the aforementioned time machine or b) repair to coastal mountains and start a heartfelt, pure and passionate commune. Farewell to the digital plague, hookups and other heart mutilations. Welcome to moonbathing and song and story.

    This is not entirely fantasy. Life was grounded in reality back then. You are quite right, it wasn't perfect but it was ours. We grew, we made, and a gentleman's word was his honour. The modern world saddens this old-fashioned girl, mostly because it trades in the broken dreams of the good and the brave. So I am doubly impressed by young men like Forest (who is away and spared the blushes) who create healing places such as this. He gives me hope in the next generation.

    Leo, record your song. The only futility is giving up and besides music shall be the lifeblood of the temple.
     
  19. leonardo999

    leonardo999 Well known member

    Oh I will record it.... just at a quieter time..... or go hide in my old bedroom at my parents little house ... away from so much noise (usually) with a guitar and laptop :*)
    I dont usually give up..... songs are my main escape.... :*0
    You sound very poetic !
     
  20. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I'm some kind of human dreamcatcher.
    Bless supportive parents. Mine keep my old room in their wee house too. It will probably always be the best space in the world to create. Something about the blend of supportive love and quiet and familarity does well.
    Still have ropey internet connection here so have yet to explore your channel. If you sell your music, send coordinates.
     

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