Day 25 How I'm Doing

I wish I could say that I see big improvement in my pain. I have had days where the pain is better than others, but overall I don't see a big change in my pain level. The fear and anxiety about being in pain has improved a great deal. I have far less "strange" neurological symptoms now and I think the SEP has shown me how to calm my nerves.

Initially it was tough for me to accept TMS, but as I've progressed I keep telling myself how the multiple doctors can't find anything so it must be TMS. I think that to a point I put myself into overload learning about TMS and trying to find that one big repressed emotion that could be the key to my pain. This is all very new to me and on some days seems so very overwhelming.

 

Yes - being TMS type people - lots of us rush at it trying to find the key so we can get better straight away - its the perfectionism thing....! Maybe rather than looking for one big thing - look at how the smaller things have piled up over the years.... ? I found in the SEP course - looking back at the page when you wrote down things that happened to you and your age at the time was really useful. I feel a bit like an onion...! I went through everything and healed a lot - but I still sometimes revisit stresses from childhood when something triggers me today.... Family relations are a real problem for me - I suddenly find myself getting really angry about something - but when i think about it calmly - and do some journalling or meditate - I see that i am reacting badly because of prior trauma related to that trigger. Then it is easier to process and move on.
But i do think sometimes that it is a continuous process - it just gets easier with time and familiarity..! good luck

 

I hear your disappointment, @49C2, but I also see progress, as you do too. You might try branching outside of TMS-specific resources and learn about the mindbody connection from other viewpoints, particularly neuroscience. All of my favorite resources are listed in my profile. Here are a couple:

This TED talk by V.S. Ramachandran

Meditations to Change Your Brain, by Richard Mendius MD and Rick Hanson (audio program)

When the Body Says No, by Gabor Mate MD