Day 1 Hopeful

I broke and displaced five transverse processes (L1-4 and T12) and had two inguinal hernias that opened further from the fall and required surgery. I was bleeding internally and had a lot of soft tissue damage and had very poor care at the hospital, which included waiting in the ER for four hours, being treated disrespectfully and not being diagnosed initially with internal bleeding or the hernias, which extended the healing process of my structural integrity. It took a year and a half to finally have all of my parts and pieces back in order. It's been two and a half years since I fell.

In the past two and a half years, I've worked with eight medical professionals that helped me overcome my structural problems to a point that there is no longer any serious issue with structural integrity. I still deal with pain on a daily basis. My pelvic floor muscles and a referred shooting pain have not improved noticeably since I fell. I get terrible hypertonicity in the pelvic floor with lifting, intercourse and stress. My shooting pain occurs pretty strictly when I side bend, which is why I have been hell bent on finding the cause, the reason; making logical, structural sense of the imprisonment I feel, caused by my limitations.

I feel fairly confident that I suffer from TMS. Even though I feel hopeful, I have my doubts that I can really make a huge difference with just my mind. I listened the pelvic pain webinar yesterday and it really lifted me out of a funk and gave me some hope. I was immediately able to relate to the personality traits and come up with examples of inconsistency of my symptoms. I've been through the cycle of hoping and being disappointed quite a few times. Buying in fully with my mind will be one of my greatest barriers. Living my life and feeling like I don't have control of my pain makes me feel crazy and weak and angry.

Life without TMS for me would be giving me back my freedom. I've been in a personal prison since I fell and it's time I opened the unlocked door and ran, jumped, yelled and experienced joy like I used to do before I was so angry that I was injured. I wish the best to all of you who are struggling. Thanks for reading.

 

Welcome to the forum. Please, do yourself a favor and do all of the work suggested in the program, and complete it- you can get better.

Keep up the good work.

 

Thanks for the encouragement, Kevin. I read through Week 0 yesterday and started with week 1 today. I was practicing all day, just repeating little mantras to myself. Your note of kindness is appreciated. My name is MeiLing by the way! I'm 29 and am an Engineer. I forgot to put in any background info at all.

 

Hi, Mloo. It's great that you started the SEP but I suggest you do not devote so much time to each day's practice. Try to spend about an hour at most each day and they try not to feel your pain and find ways to enjoy your day. And you need to increase your belief in TMS so you believe 100 percent that it is causing your pain. It took a while for me to believe totally but when I finally did, i healed from severe back pain. You'll get there. Just keep up the good work.

Repeating mantras to yourself is excellent... do positive mantras while deep breathing.

 

Hey Mloo,

I as well am trying to get better, and just started the SEP. I posted on here about a week ago-- in addition to severe back pain after a rowing injury (that there is no structural damage from, at least ostensibly) I had an inguinal hernia also and a torn tendon in my groin which I got surgery for. I believe the pain and restrictions I still experience there are due to TMS.

Good luck, and please keep us updated on here! It will be great to see your success.