Guero Triste checks in

Hello All-

I think I am in the right place.

I am a male white collar sales professional in my 40's. The last three or four years have been turbulent for me, with job loss, job re-hire to much more difficult position, relationship issues related to me being a non-stop stress case, having a teenager who is rebellious, and some silver medal class drinking that has become a stressor all on it's own.

For the past 18 months I have had tingling and numbness in my feet, hands and fore-arms. It is now spread up my legs and arms and even buttocks. My hands are sometimes very clumsy and have experienced something like "foot drop" at times. Extra stressful days make me feel like I am gonna curl up in a ball on the floor.

I also have very serious pain in my shoulders at times. I have had vertigo and ringing in the ears too.

It seems to me I am near collapse and I have been pushing through the pain for months.

I went to the doc (neuro). Brain and spine MRI show all OK. Nerve conduction set shows mild CTS right side, and CTS in the work on the left arm. Says not MS, lupus, doesn't think it's ALS. Could be alcoholic neuropathy. I damned sure have done my drinking.

I have read a couple of Sarno's books, SteveO's book, and Nicole Sack's book. Have done some of the Curable stuff. I have at times had partial relief but nothing permanent or earth-shaking.

In the past I have had a lot of health scares. None of them have ever amounted to anything being found. I don't fancy myself hypochondriac but I realize that means nothin', as these past episodes were probably TMS and the current one is the probable the same thing but writ large.

I would like to get through this w/out a meltdown but am not sure I can hold together working 55 hours a week, non stop anxiety about my health, drinking to numb the anxiety, etc.

Lay it on me folks. I can use direction.

 

I like it. And here it is:

You gotta do the emotional work. Period.

Nicole says it. Dr. Schubiner says it. Alan Gordon says it. Every TMS coach and practitioner says it. In episode 85 of The Mind and Fitness Podcast, Dr. Schubiner and Eddy say explicitly that just reading the books and thinking about the emotional work ain't ever gonna do it.

So. Do the SEP. That's our free Structured Educational Program. Don't rush it. You don't have to do it every day, but give yourself the gift of completing at least 3 "Days" per week.

You already know that Nicole Sachs says that you have to journal.
>>>Listen to her.
>>>>>You have to journal<<<<<

The SEP teaches you different ways to do it. When you make your lists, do NOT let your brain talk you into skipping over ANYTHING. Force yourself to write down everything that comes into your head even when your brain is saying it's not important, or it's too embarrassing. You can destroy your writing after you complete it, but it's vital that you write it all down, no matter how stupid it feels.

The benefits of some form of personal writing are by now indisputable, and yet a surprising number of people still resist it and "yes, but" their way around every excuse to avoid it. And guess what - those are the ones who are stuck. I'll take this opportunity to say that in my experience, "Yes, but..." is the sure sign of someone who is stuck, and usually attached to their victimhood. Don't be one of those. Just get out the pen and paper and do it.

For inspiration, you can't do better than Nicole's podcast, The Cure For Chronic Pain With Nicole Sachs. Start with #1 and keep going. Each one contains at least one gem, and she will convince you of the value of a writing practice even if no one else can.

Finally, don't ever forget: this is your only life. You have to love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of healing, and to
know in your heart that you deserve to heal.

 

I have a ton of empathy for you. I'm in sales and I can't think of really any other profession in which you will have to put yourself through probably 100 No's and doors in your face before someone gets what you're saying. It's what I do and it's what I have been doing for the last 10 years.

If there is something you can do about the 55 hour workweeks, please do. This life isn't about work. Even if you can cut it down to 54 hours per week and utilize that other hour to do the necessary emotional work involved it will pay it's dividends. There are a lot of options out there of "work." Nicole is brilliant, Schubiner's program is good, etc. Perhaps being able to put forth 20 minutes of a journal to empty out your reservoir each day could do you well in addition to Alan Gordon's program daily (it probably will take 5-7 minutes per day on top of the journaling) and I think you'll start to create some necessary space between your lizard brain and your conscious brain.

 

There you go. I mentioned The Mind And Fitness Podcast (another favorite of mine), by Eddy Lindenstein - aka @LindenSwole

 

Thanks Jan. I am already using Nicole's podcast for encouragement. I also am using her journalling method, kinda sorta.

Yesterday I had decent journal session and lo and behold when I woke to use the bathroom in the middle of the night my back/shoulder pain was gone. It was way strange. It is back with a vengeance today tho.

 

Appreciate the kind words. Sales is not an easy gig, an it's even harder when you have some misgivings about the methods used.

I am going to have a sit-down with my boss and tell him that I am going to cut back 5-10 hours per week 10/1. That's till 45-50, and still too much, but it's a move. I have come the realize that this is largely MY fault for not setting boundaries, etc. I know if I don't fix this the potential downsides are ****** huge. I mean there's job loss, divorce, depression, and worse. That's my biggest fear, a death spiral where I just fold up.

High stakes.