Going on vacation? Hmm.

I am about to leave for a month's stay in a often visited place in Greece. I have been doing the Ed program on TMS Wiki for about three weeks and am really happy with the results. I cut back to nothing on my usual Aleve intake and have been able to talk through twinges with myself pretty well. Now, three days before my trip, I can feel it coming on. Trying to reason with my sub-C about not sabotaging this much looked forward to journey. I was in NY in March and totally tanked, ended up leaving early and as soon as I got home, I was fine. This is when I started seriously thinking this pain was due to TMS. So, now I feel like I am entering the spiral again. I am journalling, do the readings, thanking the heavens for these forums, and wondering how to get control over this little gremlin. The physical pain is real, the panic at thinking about the result is also real I guess. I know I am lucky to have this time away and I want to enjoy it. Yeah, always some guilt in us Irish folks....

 

So your fear is you won't have a great time pain-free? I would journal about your fear specifically. I think through that you could change your perspective.

How about approaching it this time that last time you didn't make it through the end of your trip, but this time you're going to!

I would love to go to Greece so I'm a little jealous!

Funny thing is the last day of a trip for me I (in the past) would get some kind of weird ailment. Not enough to stop me from having a good time, but something to get my attention. I wised up and realized it was because I didn't want the trip to end! But it was amusing when I made the connection!

Best wishes and I hope your trip is great!

 

Great advice. Just writing the post helped me get in touch with what was going on . And my "spider"journaling was about the fear - you are right, it was a good thing to do. Can't decipher everything but just acknowledging the feelings seemed to help. It is a lot about some part of me needing/getting "attention" I think. Anyhow, thank you.

 

Glad the journaling about your reservations about the trip helped!
The circumstances for the trip are also important. I wish I was thinking more about my own best interest before I booked my latest (and what seems to be never-ending: a 2 months affair) trip to visit my family abroad, due to 2 weddings this summer... It was a big mistake for me, unfortunately. Emotionally, and ultimately the pain started coming back. Can't wait to be home again.
In hindsight, my little inner girl primitive has been kept away from home too long, and now she's throwing a tantrum!

 

Isn't it great when this happens? I feel like sometimes I have so many thoughts, with strong emotions attached to them, that keeping them in my head gets to be really overwhelming. If I don't write them down, or talk through them out loud (preferably with someone else - I am lucky I have a very patient father and very understanding friends!), they seem to be bigger, and become more unmanageable than they actually are. Just that little act of organizing my emotions & thoughts makes what was once completely chaotic and overwhelming become manageable.

I'm with Lori, I'm jealous, I want to go to Greece! Seriously though, have a wonderful time. And remember, there's also a big difference from your trip to NY and where you are now: you have way more tools and skills to recognize any TMS symptoms if they start lurking around the corner. If I read your post correctly, you didn't have much knowledge of TMS, or the support you have here on the forum, back in March. Just having accepted the diagnosis makes this situation so unbelievably different. You can do it! Have fun, take lots of pictures, post them in the community off-topic subforum so we can all live vicariously through you...

 

Hi Hilary,
I travel often for fun, and as a back pain suffer used to ramp up my fears of getting stuck somewhere unable to fly. It actually happened to me in Jordan. But the airline put me in first class which was the coolest thing ever. Anyway, now I use Alan Gordon's outcome independence. When I travel, my measure of joy now isn't whether or not there is pain. It is the thrill and wonder of getting to see and experience weird and wonderful new things. I have learned that for me fear is the problem, and those hidden emotions, not pain.