Feeling scared

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in the summer, after several years developing pains in my arms, legs and back. I read The MindBody Condition a couple of weeks ago and completely 'got it', so wanted to learn more in order to get better. I came across the TMS wiki site last week and started the structured education program on Saturday. Almost immediately, all my symptoms - including IBS - became worse, and have been since.

Even though I am fully commited to the program and Dr Sarno's theory, I am still fearful that I might stay like this (in a worse state than before), if the program doesn't work for me. (I'm not one of the typical personality types, nor have I had any major traumas, and I'm worried I won't be able to get to the bottom of the true reason(s) for my TMS).

 

Same thing happened to me. I have the exact same worries as you. Sometimes I almost feel like its 'worse' knowing what the root cause is/might be because I then can't stop thinking about TMS, feeling like I'll never conquer it and getting downhearted when I see people's quick success stories and recoveries.

All of the above is pretty normal and I'd say pretty typical TMS personality stuff.

I've seen a lot of people on this forum say you don't necessarily have to find the 'one thing' that has caused your TMS, but rather patiently and consistently keep moving your focus to your emotions, accept and process all emotions, become more aware of your daily stressors (outside of your symptoms) and any personality traits you have that fit TMS - low self esteem, perfectionist, goodist etc.

It's the AWARENESS not the DOING of anything about it all.

I'm far from 'cracking it' myself - I was able to get rid of carpal tunnel pain and experience a slight reduction in daily headaches but my dizziness persists worse than before AND I've now developed vertigo. I've seen lots of reassuring words about how this is actually evidence that our TMS is 'on the run' or 'acting up' because we've started to realise it's game. I think it's called the extinction burst.

Feels weird to be in a battle against your own brain doesn't it?

My theory at the end of the day is if we start to do something that makes it worse, that's evidence that we can make it better, that it reacts and changes and therefore if we persevere we will start to see those changes become positive ones.

You're only a few days in, I know @JanAtheCPA didn't see anything until day 12, others day 30 onwards. It's taken a long time to get this stressed and develop all these symptoms, give yourself time and try to change your mindset about the worsening symptoms, they won't last.

Now if only I could take my own advice

Good luck x

p.s. change your username, nothing good ever comes from identifying so closely with your symptoms. I used to call it 'my headaches or my dizziness' until someone told me they didn't belong to me... food for thought

 

Dear Colls100

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insiteful reply. I certainly agree that any change - good or bad - proves the point that the brain is controlling the physical symptoms, so I do take comfort from that.

I'm struggling a bit with the journalling, although I suddenly realised I'd left my parents' separation and divorce when I was 22 off my list of past events that affected me - probably THE most stressful event of my life so far, which I guess shows how much we repress these difficult events and feelings!

Re my name: I'm not very imaginative and this popped into my head. I actually meant it to be amusing though

Thank you again, and good luck!
x

 

You don't have to journal, I don't recall Dr. Sarno mentioning, or making a big deal out of that if he did--he said, when you feel the pain, switch your thinking to the psychological/emotional. You don't have to do psycho-archeology, digging into your past to find the black-bullet event, that "caused all of this"--that's psycho-archeology. TMS recovery is about trusting that the body structure is strong, disavowing all the "professionals", advising you not to do it, because you will "wear" your body part(s) out , needing surgery, or whatever snake-oil, physical treatment, or voo-doo they are trying to sell you to pick your wallet clean. If you are still sturggling to believe or apply TMS theory, contact a TMS practitioner for a few sessions to convince you, there's a long list of them at this site, phone and skype are as good as in person.

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"Pain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is Optional. ... It's a vicious circle wherein pain triggers negative thoughts and self-talk which translate to feelings that coincide with suffering, and increases muscle tension and stress, which in turn, amplify the pain signals, triggering more of them.
Huruki Murakami Jan 13, 2014"​

 

I always love this article on fear, partly because there is no great conclusion. It does give some possible ways to work with it. Everyone who deals with TMS skillfully has fears. Fear is a great distractor, more powerful than the symptoms themselves.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/understanding-and-overcoming-fear.8574/ (Dr. Schubiner's Blog - Understanding and overcoming fear)

One way to work with fear moment-to-moment is to inquire: "If I wasn't feeling this fear, what would I be aware of in my life?" Try to go deeper than the fear. This will give you more tolerance of the fear, more witnessing, as well as bringing yourself back to "thinking psychologically."

 

Thanks, Tom.

 

Thanks so much, Andy. That was really helpful. Everything I've read so far by Dr Schubiner has been and I look forward to reading more of his work.

 

@Andy B thats a very helpful way to practise psychological thinking. It makes it so clear that I know tms is a distraction if I say to myself, what would I be thinking about if I was thinking about this? For some reason it made sense to me immediately. Whereas I usually hear people reference thinking about 'what's really bothering me' which I never seem to be able to practise. Thanks!!