Ok, I don't know if I did it right but I gave it a go: Basically yesterday my best friend told me a date they planned to commit suicide if a particular event that is supposed to happen doesn't happen. My emotion to that was none. In fact my reply was something like "yea I agree with you there". I didn't feel sad at the time or have any conscious emotions. That night I decided to attempt "feeling emotions". With that thought in mind I suddenly remembered my conversation with my best friend and how he wanted to commit suicide. I thought about how it would make me feel... Tears poured out of my eyes. Suddenly I realized that I used to cry often in the past due to how stressed out about the HSC (important end of school exam) I got. In year 11 however I become top of my class In everything (before that I was below average) and stopped crying since I thought everything was going ok... I didn't have conscious fear anymore almost like the HSC wasn't ever going to happen. I was a perfectionist and had to be the best at everything. Even my worst subject (biology) in which I would usually come 15th at I suddenly came 3rd yet was angry that I didn't come 1st like I did in all my other following subjects: - Information processes and technology - Software development and design - English - Exploring Early childhood - Math (well not first for this subject but close) So anyway I sat in bed unable to stop crying, my nose running and my chest hurting sharply from all the crying. I was thinking about how sad I would be without my best friend around. He's the only one I like to really talk to, the only one that really understands me. Then I thought about the process of him committing suicide (causing so much damage to himself that he would no longer be conscious). Then I thought about how his parents would feel, raising him from birth and putting him through school, seeing his work and boom... Dead. Lastly I thought about the reason he wanted to commit suicide. The fact that he has been relying on something specific (not allowed to mention it) to happen on sept 11th 2012 for the past 8 months and it's me who pulled him into this whole thing getting him in contact with the person giving him and myself all the hope. If it doesn't happen he can't handle living a normal life. Having to work, get married, raise children, grow old and die. None of it seems worth it to him and he's worried about how terrible a normal life would be to compared of this amazing opportunity and fantastic life that's supposed to be ahead of him, myself and 30 others around the world. I cried for 42 minutes and really shouldn't have because it was 11:30pm when I started and 12:12am when I finally stopped and tried to reframe from thinking those thoughts. Even worse was the fact that I had to get up at 6:30 am for my 10 hour childcare shift. So was that what I was supposed to do? Is that what you call "feeling emotions". Must you accept or resolve them? I mean... I don't think I can accept my best friends death. No matter how many times I think of it I will still be sad. But this is only something recent, my "RSI" started may 2011 and my backpain started late 2008. Do I have to sit down and cry about all my emotions or do I have to go to people and tell them how I feel. I guess the main question here is: "tms is physical pain your mind creates by triggering minor oxygen deprivation to a particular body part. It does this to protect you from your unconscious emotions (mostly rage) entering your conscious mind and negatively mentally effecting you. How must you deal with these emotions however to stop them from being something your mind "attacks you" with?