Day 6 Fears

Briefly take a few minutes and write down some of your fears. Why are you afraid of these things?

1) Not being able to support my family. I'm the sole bread winner in my family, and my wife was home schooled. Therefore, she would love to be able to home school all three of our children. I support the idea, but always feel over burdened with the responsibility of bringing in the only income. To my wife's credit she is a very supportive christian wife. She always tells me not to worry that she has her teaching degree and go back to teaching if we needed the money if I couldn't work.

2) Accepting a lifestyle that I strove all my life to get away from. Growing up we didn't have much money since my dad squandered so much money at strip clubs who later divorced my mother for an exotic dancer. Well, I can always reassure my children that i'll never step foot in a strip club, and never have. My dad has only seen two of my children (we have three) once in 7 years and we live in the same town.

I never really felt sorry for my for mother since she was hateful all the time. Even stabbed with me with a knife on my forearm, and made me lie about to a doctor. Not a great child hood. Therefore, I pushed myself so hard in college and OD school to be exceptional at my craft. We never owned a house growing up, since we rented a house that was a dump. My father made a lot of money from his business but just had no responsibility with it. I vowed to myself that I would own a modest house that would be completely paid for. I've been under constant pressure with myself when to pay off the house using Dave Ramsey's method. We have more than enough to pay off the house and still have 4 years of income. I let my conscious mind talk me out of it so we can have more reserves.

3) Not becoming a millionaire. Just being honest here. I constantly see so many financial articles saying you'll need over 1 million to retire. I've come to understand the classic saying, "More money, more problems." I've learned that the months I've made the most have been some of the most miserable of my life. I'm not very materialistic (just want to own a home outright), and could care less about keeping up with the 'Jones'. I'm starting to ignore these articles, and realizing my satisfaction can not come from a dollar amount. I'm starting to relax, and finally take vacations after 9 years of practice. In May we took our first real family vacation to S. Dakota, and over labor day we are planning a 4 day weekend in Kansas City. Money can not buy me happiness anymore. I don't want to look back when I'm older and wish I had spent more time as a family. It isn't easy traveling with three children under 7 but I think we both want to travel no matter how stressful it is with children.

4) Reading the internet daily news. I'm starting to avoid more yahoo, msn, cnn, cnnmoney websites. It seems like almost 80% of the articles are negativity. They say misery loves company and the news seems to hook me in.

5) Having surgery or injections. I always view these procedures are last ditch attempts to correct problems. It would take tremendous convincing by a medical doctor for me to consider these routes. My pains are not severe just annoying. I'd hate to jump to these procedures and make my situation even worse. Some days my pains will be on the top of my wrist, some days on the side, and then some days on the under side always by my thumbs. Some days I won't get these pains, but my hands will just be cold. People shake my hand and say your hand is cold. I'm sure it always affects my R hand more since I'm R hand dominant.

I have been finding happiness again in revisiting past favorite music.

 

Hi, Ryan. I can relate to most of your fears, but not the one about being a millionaire. Big money does not buy happiness or peace of mind.
My best friend was from a very rich North Shore suburban Chicago family and never had to even think about money much less worry about it.
He bought a $500 camera and when he got out of the store accidentally dropped it. It broke into a zillion pieces. He went right back in the store and bought another. He bought a new car and when he drove it home decided to turn it in and buy a new sports car instead. In less than an hour, his new car became a use car and he lost I don't know how many hundreds or thousands of dollars in buying the new sports car instead.

He also was always unhappy drank a bottle of wine every night to go to sleep. No, money doesn't make us happy.


Another friend who is not rich homeschooled his three kids and they are very successful.

We all worry about losing our job or income for one reason or another. You're in a very big boat and it has a hole in it because the greedy rich and greedl politicians and corporate CEOs want it all. I'm all for a new political and economic revolution. It's way past time.

But meanwhile, I don't stress about it. I keep going like the Duracell battery. I'm 85 and have survived this far as a self-employed freelance writer.
I know I will keep on surviving so long as the Lord wants me here.

Hug those three kids. They are making you rich.

 

Yeah, Walt!

In addition to your always-wise advice, of course