Fallen off the wagon

I have stopped going to my TMS doctor because we didn’t really have a good connection. I dreaded going and left feeling worse. I still go to a regular therapist, but she is not schooled in TMS. I still come on this site and read the stories and the articles. Since leaving my doctor I feel like I have fallen off the wagons with my pain. I am so consumed with my pain. It seems to be all I care about...like I have a codependent relationship with it. When I have no pain then I am happy. When I have pain I am inconsolable. Any suggestions on what to do? Thanks.

 

Hi Lattelyric

It sounds like you're making a good choice for yourself, to break off a relationship which was not serving you. Congratulations on that.

This is an excellent observation. I wonder if you might explore this relationship, with your therapist. Put the pain on a pillow, or better yet, the TMS on a pillow, and speak to it, and switch back and forth your position here, taking the part of TMS, speaking to you. Or you could do this as a written exercise, taking both parts, having a conversation. Your mention of this is remarkable to me, and might point to some fruit for you.

I'm sorry you're feeling discouraged, and glad you're coming here for some input.

Andy

 

Thanks for the help! That sounds like a good idea. My therapist helped me see that i have no relationship with my body. Only pain. She encouraged me to explore my relationship with my body with some gentle yoga.

 

Just to add to what @Andy Bayliss wrote, I can relate. It's sort of like being in a bad marriage. People stay in bad marriages because it's what's familiar and it's what they know. I also remember feeling like my TMS was my constant companion...."Here I am driving in my car...me and my TMS" ugh! LOL! If you think about it, it comes down to changing the relationship you have with yourself. We create the symptoms and we can "uncreate" them just as easily. It's not an arranged marriage so to speak...we have a choice in the matter. We can choose to stop giving so much importance and respect to meaningless symptoms. We are the ones in control and in the drivers seat.