Day 19 Exercise isn't the measure of success for me

Hi all,

Day 19 now and I suppose I can say my pain is not as acute as it was when I started, but I think that might be because I'm not deliberately trying to aggravate it like I was doing at the start.

Or maybe it's because I've made real progress in the SEP. Or both.

The thing that's bugging me at the moment is that I keep reading about all these people who are using activity as the measuring stick to how much they've improved or how much more work they need to do. People who could not walk or were afraid of walking who start doing little bits then build up and even may start running.

I'm amazed how dedicated people are to physical exercise in this forum!

However, my problem with physical exercise is not so much physical, it's mental. Sometimes I really don't want to do it. It's lonely. It takes up time and stops me doing other things. And despite knowing how good I'll feel at the end, I often find myself talking myself out of it when I wake up, telling myself I'm too tired, or my throat might be sore etc etc. Then when I don't do it, I beat myself up with guilt about it and put pressure on myself to go the next day, only for the cycle to repeat itself...

In other words, my pain is not the thing from stopping me doing my exercise of choice, which is swimming, (though I have stopped doing tumble turns for now as I think they aggravate my back).

My pain affects me by being there when I sit down - at a desk, on the lounge watching TV, in the car, in a movie cinema, on a plane (worst of all!). Or when I'm bent over doing something like sweeping or gardening. Usually after five to 15 minutes does it start.

Pain doesn't really affect me when I walk or run.

So for me to exercise, it's no big deal - though admittedly I haven't played tennis, squash or golf for a while because the twisting always led to my back being all locked up at the end, or I would leave the court early because I couldn't go on. (For the record, I just rang my brother to organise a game of squash, just to test how my back holds up).

So my point is, my TMS pain I experience in periods of relative inactivity. At home I'm well known by my family as one to be lying on my bed every chance I get. I used to think it was because I was lazy, selfish and just liked being relaxed. But after starting this program I realised that lying down is just so much less painful than doing everyday life things.

I suppose what I'm asking is are there people who have beaten TMS with similar pain associations (primarily with sitting) who don't use exercise as the measure, but just being able to sit with no pain? That's the success story I want to emulate.

 

This post by Steve O is excellent:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/tms-pain-while-sitting.4552/#post-28117 (TMS Pain While Sitting)

 

Thanks Ellen, just what I wanted to read! The comments are interesting too, and I like how Steve O injects a bit of humour into his writing.

Eg:

His piece and the comments reminded me of anther thing nagging at me. I realise that I've been lucky with my pain. It hasn't forced me to give up work and I've pretty much led a normal life in most regards, just a painful one.

So my question is, what if the pain that I experience as a 7 out of 10, others with much more crippling pain would rate as 2 or 3 out of 10? There's a nasty thought that I should be grateful, count myself lucky and just get on with it, I don't have the real TMS and that I feel pain that others would barely even rate....

But a more friendly thought says that some of the people with severe and debilitating pain who have fought TMS and won report having NO pain with the occasional day of pain returning that they can use the techniques that they've learnt to minimise it and eventually remove it again. There's no reason I can't be one of these people. I really long for the day of sitting in a chair or doing something bent over at the waist and not feeling any pain. Even if it's just for one day as a proof of concept.

You want to hear something strange? I'm still waiting for the pain to hit as I'm sitting here at my desk at home. I'm sure it will again (there's my pessimism) and when it does I'll have the usual dismay and disappointment (which I need to turn into indifference), but this is a journey of inches.

 

BTW, today's success story on the wiki homepage by bikebum was PERFECT for me. For anyone with sitting-down related TMS, have a read. It's also good because he didn't feel like he completely fit the bill of the typical TMSer that's portrayed in Dr Sarno's Healing Back Pain. But he still used the method to heal himself successfully.

 

Try not to expect pain. If you dread that it will come, it will. Try to think of other things, more pleasant things.
If you need ideas for that, look at YouTube. Especially funny stuff.