...because I am totally having one of those days. I just feel really fed up of everything. Fed up of my flat. Fed up of my normal hobbies. Fed up of cooking. Fed up of - well, being me. And I don't know what to do to feel better - I try to just do something to keep me active, but sometimes it doesn't help. I've realised I get like this sometimes when either I suddenly have some downtime and nothing to do, or I have a lot of annoying things to do. Today is the former (with the exception of some tidying/organising to do - clutter makes me anxious, but our flat is small and we are busy so there is often clutter). It's probably no coincidence that I am TMS-ing like crazy today - some arm pain has returned that I haven't had since starting the TMS programme, my foot hurts, my jaw is locked up and all week I've been inexplicably and extremely snuffly (even indoors with the windows shut, in various different locations so it's unlikely to be a true allergy!). I've been trying to work out while I feel this way, and I'm not sure. I had what you might call a 'breakthrough' journalling session earlier this week, which really helped me realise the source of some anxiety and negative feelings. I don't know if this could be related. Perhaps there is rising anxiety because I am about to leave my job and start my new university course, with resultant financial uncertainty. I know that this is what I really want to do, but any change - even positive change - is hard. I don't know. I'm finding it hard to be kind to myself today and give myself what I want, because I don't know what that is.