This question was submitted via our Ask a TMS Therapist program. To submit your question, click here. Question A lot of my TMS is triggered by being around/thinking about my mother, who was abusive and neglectful towards me growing up. When I am near her, regardless of if we are interacting or are even in the same room, I switch over to a state of fight/flight/freeze which does a number on my body and my mind. I am college-aged and living at home, so I'm around her on a day-to-day basis and am at a total loss on how to interact with her in a way that won't be destructive for either of us. When I am her friend, things are more peaceful but my health becomes awful. When I am more aloof around her, I have less pain but feel extremely angry and panic-ridden. She has proven to be incapable of love and genuine interaction due to how she was raised, so I feel like I can't hold her accountable for how she is / how she was. I suppose I hate her unconsciously, but feel guilty about it because what I hate her for seems to be outside of her control. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach this? I want to preserve myself without hurting her.