Day 33 SEP

[Have you noticed any positive changes in your life since you have started this program? If you feel comfortable sharing, then post your response in a thread in our Structured Program forum. Posting about the positive changes in your life will give other people the courage to give this approach a try.]

So, I might be the slowest person to work through the SEP as it has taken me 3 months to get to day 33. Initially this was due to lack of time I dedicated to it because of the time my one year old son takes of my life plus returning to work after sick leave 2weeks after I discovered TMS. However, now I am on school holidays (I am a teacher in the UK) at first I was telling myself off for lack of commitment to journaling etc and vowed to do the SEP every day once school broke up in July, but have, with the help of reading posts on this forum, come to understand that I can do this at the pace that works for me and not to put to much pressure on myself and feel a failure if I am slower than I might have first imagined. My one year old does require so much of my time and attention and I have come to recognise that there is anger at times and I feel that focus on my time for healing has to be compromised for his needs!
Anyhow there are some amazing positive changes since starting the SEP that shows the TMS is loosing its grip over my life. My leg pain (sciatica) symptoms have reduced remarkably, with some pain-free periods. Excitingly I can do the following, which a year ago was unimaginable to me:
- cycle 10km
- lift and carry my one year old which I was so fearful of previously due to supposed 'herniated disc'.
- go to friends in the evening for dinner (evening pain strongly conditioned for me and still working on this)
- go to Pilates class
-bake muffins (yay!)
-spend the afternoon with my dad on his boat
- laugh, laugh and laugh some more at silly things in life!
- go for a walk and be mindful of the beauty in the day (whatever the weather!)
-sit up and read in bed (had been conditioned to believe this would be 'bad for my back' !!
- most importantly recognise how,powerful my mind is and understand how to divert my 'negative' thinking and understand how damaging my low self-esteem is.
It has, and continues to be, the most empowering and frightening battle I have faced but I feel I have the key to live a happy and fulfilling life without crippiling pain.....I'm just still in the process of turning it the key!
I am so grateful for all the people who teach and help those with TMS, write books on TMS and support others here on the forum. Thank you.

 

Peppergirl, my heart felt lifted and light reading your post. What powerful insights! I think you are doing great!!!! I truly understand how demanding having a one year old is. Especially when you are working. I was in New York City for 6 weeks making a film when my son was 12 months old. I just had a big flash back to how stressful it all was. I was convinced at the time that my problem was too much sugar and yeast in my body. When I heard the famous actress I was working with had a yeast infection I gave her a stack of books and she looked at me like I was crazy. I didn't realize I had TMS so I was chasing down every physical explanation for the myriad of symptoms I was experiencing. It is all clear to me now! How great you have developed this awareness now. In the big picture, you are way ahead!

 

Thank you for sharing, Peppergirl! These are all great successes (including the success of realizing that it is important to go through the program at a rate that works for you, rather than feeling pressure to complete it within a certain time restraint). Can't wait to hear later updates from you!

 

This was great to read! I am still experiencing some bad pain in my back so this gave me hope!