Day 42 Can't believe I've finished it!!

I've learned so much, I don't know where to start! I've realised that I have the classic TMS personality, especially being prone to "goodism", perfectionism and sensitivity to rejection. The journalling has been powerful and uncovered many personal issues that I have been working through. I also realised that I have a great deal of anxiety. I've found that my anxiety has become worse, but I realised that the anxiety has always been there - it's just that I repressed it. Now I want to let it come to the surface, so I can deal with it and become free.

Not only have I learned about classic TMS personality traits, but I've discovered more about my Enneagram type, attachment style and being a "Highly Sensitive Person" (HSP). It's been an amazing journey of growth and self-discovery. While my TMS symptoms have not completely disappeared, I feel much more empowered and peaceful about my situation. I'm realising it's all a journey, and it doesn't matter if I don't get better overnight.

Now I am starting to wonder, what's the next step for me? What do I need to do to completely recover and continue my healing journey? I've been so blessed by the support here at the TMS forum, as it has really encouraged me and helped to confirm that I have TMS.

 

Hi, Laudisco. Congratulations on completing the SEP. Your success from it is wonderful and an inspiration to everyone taking it.
I too found that journaling was maybe the best thing I did to heal from back pain and to get a really new knowledge of myself.
It's so true... healing from pain is one benefit of TMS but maybe even more important is the self-discovery.

I've been in the "next step" of TMS for two years now. I just keep reminding myself that any new symptom is TMS and
think or journal about its possible cause. I practice deep breathing and try to live in the present, think positive.
I also laugh more than I used to.

We sound a lot alike, with HSP, "goodism."

As for anxiety, we'd have to be a Tibetan monk not to have any. When it gets stronger, I really do laugh it off.

Now if a new symptom comes up for you, or a recurrence of an old one, you know how to deal with it.
Take another dose of Dr. Sarno's "TMS Penicillin."

 

Congratulations! And this is a really good thing for me to remember.

 

Yahoo Laudisco!
Glad you have such equanimity about symptoms. This was probably the biggest for me. At some point, after a lot of progress, I just focused on getting my normal life back and ignored any lingering symptoms. I just began to get more active and use the 12 Daily reminders, and try to hone "thinking psychologically," which to me is a life-long learning piece.

I am sure you will find your own way to proceed!

I am so happy for your learning. So much new and so much to digest. Thank you for the uplifting post.

Andy

 

I've finished the program few days ago so I was prone to do more stuff, like dancing, carrying my daughter more then used to etc. The pain came back... not so strong but I feel like it's starts again. I didn't feel like that in so many days and I'm scared.

What should I do to keep me away from that patch, I feel like I will never get better for good...Going to see TMS doctor soon but thill it happened I still have some time.
I know that I shouldn't be scared and I try but so many things happened around...I feel like I'm loosing control.
Please, I would really appreciate any help!

 

Hi Aaricia,
I am sorry about your fear. Symptoms and fear are normal. Don't beat yourself about it, and make yourself wrong or more scared. You will get this, but it may not yet be quite "perfect." Try to observe your fear, and observe your symptoms. Watch your mind begin to tell you stories, the old stories that it will never get better. The pain's job is to scare you, and your mind helps scare you. Witness. Witness.

We have bumper sticker in our town, maybe you have seen it: "Don't believe everything you think." It is a powerful reminder. Stay strong, and understand this is still a process for you. That is OK. You have a whole life of pushing yourself, and a whole time of believing that the symptoms were probably physical. The learning takes time to go deep, and the timing is different for everyone. Be patient. Continue your work. Think psychological at all times!! You will whip this. You have a strong will and mind. Use it.

 

Aaricia,
When I look back at my terrible pain and disability it seems like a bad dream that I was caught in. I am about to to ski 12 miles a day for the next three days, with all my food and water, climbing hills. None of this seemed possible from my "bad dream." Stay strong friend, it will pass. Let the learning take it's time. In the meantime try to love yourself and do good things for yourself. Find pleasure. Find good things. You deserve them!
Andy B

 

Thank you so much! I will put your reply in my diary. I need to remember that it's only TMS that try to protect me form myself. But the pain is exactly like before the program or around day 15-20. I just got scared that it's coming back.
Great to have you here,

 

just wasn't sure if it's common, once I was much better the pain try to comes back

 

One step in the journey Aaricia, is to not give a sh*t about the pain. This is the kind of strength that in this moment is being asked of you. (gently)

My feet felt so good when I was doing better. I thought I was never going to feel pain. I then pushed really hard into the place in my foot that had taken me to 14 doctors. I hurt like hell. I had such fear. The nerve pathways take a while to undo the kind of pain they have been causing. I was scared, but I was so happy too at the progress I had made. I just kept getting better and better, hiking mountains soon after. Focus on the truth of the progress and the truth of the cure.
Andy B

 

I think I will, thank you for the peace you give me...
I'll try to get some sleep now...hiking mountains maybe not for me, but I think about my make up for tomorrow. Very selfish and vanity but it works, I remember days when I wasn't able to hold brush....And now I'm able to play with it as long as I want.

Good night Andy,
You are good person, thank you for staying with us on forum!

 

You are welcome Aaricia. I am happy for your progress. There will be more to come!
Andy B.

 

This thread was what I needed to see today. Aaricia, I am where you are. I was feeling much better and then it came back. I have read in multiple places about this being a common occurrence when healing. It ebbs and flows. It's hard not to get discouraged, but let's agree to hang in there, breath thru it and support each other thru this crazy cycle. Amazing how I can feel my butt muscles relaxing as I type this. Evidence. Look for evidence. We have TMS .. fa la la la la la la la la la!

 

Thank you wendyd, take care! we have to be stronger then our mind let me know how are you doing today!

 

I finished the program 3 years ago. Whenever my mind picks up any type of fear of rejection I have a physical response. I treat it with indifference. I talk to it. "Cut the crap out. I don't care what you do... nothing will stop me now. " I participate in physical sports always aware that someone will be unhappy with my performance. I have had my elbow hurt, my hip hurt, my foot hurt. I just think, ok what is my mind doing to me now. I try to journal every night to work out the rage my mind never feels. It goes directly into my body as pain.

Each of you can do it. Yes, you can.

 

Congratualtions on your revelations! I found this easy button and thought it might be fitting. Although I am sure it wasn't easy, things can seem easy once they are done.

 

Wow, thanks for all the lovely and supportive responses!! I feel very encouraged by all of you here. I am thinking of getting the books "Unlearn Your Pain" and "Unlearn Your Depression and Anxiety" as my next step in treatment.

I have also been listening to some incredibly inspiring recovery stories at CFS Unravelled. It's wonderful to hear how so many people use the TMS approach in healing, even though they have never heard of Dr Sarno!

This morning I ended up having some TMS pain as I was feeling upset about something, but last night I had a cry and did some anger journalling. Then I forgave the person. I knew I was still feeling a bit emotional this morning, so when I got the pain I just told myself, "Lauren it's just psychological" (or something similar) and it went away within moments!! What a blessing!

I look forward to continuing this journey towards full healing and recovery. I know I'll make it!

 

By the way, I also just recently finished 'The Hidden Psychology of Pain' by Dr James Alexander. It was really insightful, and great to get a psychologist's perspective. I found the section about dreams and trauma in the book really interesting!

 

Thanks Laudisco for recommendations. I'll check local library tomorrow for the titles.
Any other recommendations?

 

One of the most helpful books for me was "Pain Free For Life" by Scott Brady. I found the instructions in his treatment program quite clear, and he has an excellent chapter on how to utilise the technique of "pain talk". I also liked the spiritual chapter in the book, but I'm sure that anyone could read his book and benefit.