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Big Life Changes

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by JoshB, Apr 29, 2013.

  1. JoshB

    JoshB New Member

    Hey TMScommunity,

    I haven't posted on here in a while. I guess I was always trying to be tougher then my pain. In the last couple of month I've learned a lot about myself, my abilities and who I truly am. I haven't really shared my story at all. My TMS pain(back pain that moves around) began last year in the spring. I had a very stressful spring semester at school. I thought coming from a University Education to College would be easy. It was up until this point. In the summer my pain got so bad I had to eventually quit my job. I sat around trying to heal, what good that did for my situation.I had thoughts of becoming like my mother. How could my life go on if I had a bad back life her. I thought I would just have to lay down the rest of my life. School started up again, I continued to go regardless of my "situation". After the stressful midterms I had I was in a low. Depressed in a lot of pain and had a spiral of thoughts. I felt alone and even my girlfriend at the time didn't seem to support me. I found TMS shortly after that and have had the great support of this community ever since. We broke up, I guess that was mean't to happen because if she wouldn't stay with me through that, then its probably for the better.



    Slowly, and I mean slowly I started to get better. I think conquering the fear is one of the biggest parts of TMS. In january I got a gym membership again. What a great feeling that is. I continued going to school and the gym. I went on a trip to see my sister in Montreal. This was a great accomplishment for me. I recently in the spring completed my final semester at the community college. Some days were worse then others, but I made it and I know I wouldn't have been able to accomplish half as much without this community. Recently did a road trip up to montreal 12 hrs in a car who woulda thought. Then I just had my first day of my work term today. Although I am a fighter and it has been quite the fight, tms is no longer as much of a challenge. It is not this big obstacle that I once made it up to be. If it is the life I will have then so be it. I may need to have a less stressful job with maybe less hours in order to obtain the proper balance i need. I think being born into this middle to upper class society I have been driven to succeed. Always needing more. I think my TMS is a sign that if I stayed on path I may never have been happy. So worried about not being able to work 40 hr weeks absolutely. But if I sit around and worry about that, I will miss how beautiful the summer is.

    So in closing, pain free I am not. Better I am.
     
    JanAtheCPA and gailnyc like this.
  2. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is really common for us TMsers. I know that I have felt this same way for a long time. One of the challenges that I faced was learning to be okay with the present, and not worry so much about what will happen in the future.
     
  3. Lori

    Lori Well known member

    hi Josh! Glad you are better!

    Finding balance for our stressors is important--doing things we enjoy to balance the stresses of life.

    Hope you enjoy the spring and summer!
     

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