Anxiety because of false hope in the morning

Hi all,

I am wondering how to cope with an anxiety in the morning. It leaves me paralyzed when I wake up and it's hard for me to start my day. Sometimes it leads to bad depression.
My brain wakes up hoping that I won't feel anything (I have "trigeminal neuralgia") and even if the pain is extremely low, I panic that it's still there. I think my brain falsely hopes that it can wake up and today is going to be different. But it never is. And I am aware of the fact that it will be there every morning until who knows when. But my brain is always so "disappointed" and I get extremely anxious - I would still feel the left side of my face/jaw and the annoying feeling/pain. I just want to feel normal and I know it takes time but my brain panics every morning.
Any suggestions or explanations why this happens?

 

Hey Patrisia,

Brand new TMS believer here with totally different symptoms than yours, but I too experience a very similar thing every morning. One thing that has helped me is meditation. With meditation, I've been learning and observing that my pain, although present every single day, is constantly changing. It changes in terms of location, intensity, sensation, etc. And at times, it even leaves me entirely for brief periods. It's not permanent, in any sense of the word, yet that's what I fear most.

You say that there is never a day where the pain leaves, but perhaps that can be changed at first to acknowledging that the pain/sensation is always changing, and sometimes, isn't there at all. And hopefully that can evolve to be a healthier and healthier relationship over time. Sitting with the pain in meditation has also helped me train the mind to not get so disappointed and scared of the pain, to the point where I'm trying to resist it. This seems to be a key part of TMS therapy. Teaching the brain that you are indeed safe and instead looking inward for the psychological reason behind what you're experiencing.

Like I said, brand new to all this stuff and still suffering myself! But these are a couple things I've found to be really helpful. Best of luck!

 

Unfortunately, my pain doesnt leave even for brief periods
But I do agree that I need to know it's not permanent. It is already much better than it used to be and I am not scared of the triggers anymore. The progress is veey slow though.
Thank you for your advice!!

 

Mine was like this in the beginning. I also know well the morning horror of waking into an ongoing nightmare of pain. The main thing that began to resolve this for me was sleeping well and swimming. Swimming is ultimately relaxing for me but I talk of this in My Story so won’t go into it here.

Taming the morning pain was the main sign I was getting somewhere and given we share the same thing I truly understand the struggle you face. My best advice is to find ways of bringing down your levels of tension, as this then translates into increased relaxation and less pain.

Do you do anything like yoga? Something mind~body focused?

Plum x

 

Hi Patrisia, I have TriGem so “I hear ya”. Just a couple of tips that work for me.
A way I lower my tension is slowing down. Drink in a relaxed way, bathe gently, sip your coffee gratefully - make ALL your actions a little more comforting. Try not to rush anything.
You mentioned “annoying feeling/pain”. I became habituated to feeling the pain (and a little bit sorry for myself lol) instead of “just” the annoying feeling so now I relax my face and say “is it that bad .... really?” And often it’s a feeling rather than pain. Easier for me to deal with.
I love my placebo glass of wine every night. I “know” it will make me feel relaxed. It’s a funny feeling knowing you can fool yourself. In the morning can you say .. er ... “can’t wait for my yummy first coffee” or “my hot shower is going to rejuvenate me”. Believe it passionately. Anything loving and positive, not necessarily to push the anxiety aside, but just to feel kind to yourself.
And to lessen the anxiety rush, this works for me. Get comfy and say “I see curtains. I see the bed post” etc. 5 things. Then 5 things you hear. “I hear a bird call”, “I hear a car”. Then 5 things you physically feel. “I feel my sheet against my arm”. Then do 4 of each, then 3 etc. You can repeat.
Be tenacious. Whoops, negative thought in my brain ....... “thanks for calling by but I’m busy being kind to myself at the moment”
Your own answer will come. Marls.

 

@Patrisia

@Marls and I are essentially offering ways of breaking the pain cycle, and we seem to both lean into our own versions of what are called Somatic Tracking and Cognitive Soothing. These are the backbone of Alan Gordon’s most recent program. Even if you’ve read about it, I’d invite you to do so again with the examples we’ve given.

As Marls says, your answers will come and often they are small things that build one on top of another. There isn’t a magic bullet but there is relief and recovery from changing our deeply rooted patterns and responses. @JanAtheCPA is great at explaining how our TMS is due to our fearful brain and it is such an important touchstone in healing. It’s the yabbering fear and inner dialogue that you need to challenge and many of us need to calm ourselves down a bit in order to do that effectively.

For calming anxiety everyone here will recommend Claire Weekes, and there are many posts devoted to her. My Story comes from one of them. A simple search on the wiki should yield some great reading material and links.

Here’s the link to Alan’s program:

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/ (Pain Recovery Program)

Plum x

 

Thanks so much @Marls and @plum!
It really helps! Yesterday my anxiety heightened because I clicked on a YouTube video that was "suggested" for me. It was a mainstream video about TN trying to create fear. The woman in the video was terrified that even though she is fighting it now and spends time on her passion, which is fitness, she is afraid she won't be able to do it forever. The comments that followed screamed despair: people of all kinds of ages were posting that they just got diagnosed or they have been living with it and they are about to have their 6th surgery! The despair that was coming out of those comments was insane. I had to close it right away. I did not want to tune into that but it was too late. I am mad that even let myself watch the video. I invited the fears of those people in.
Have you had similar experience?

 

And @plum I did not start yoga yet, but will look into it!

 

God, yes! In the early days especially I scared myself witless a few times. It’s a horrible lesson but with sufficient negative experience you will reach the point where you’ll completely swear off anything medically mainstream. I highly recommend avoiding Dr. Google too.

It really pays to start nurturing well-being, good health and positivity in general and giving anything negative the boot.

Plum x

 

Look at the style of yoga I mention in My Story, Yin Yoga, because it’s a very gentle form of yoga that lends itself well to Somatic Tracking. I experienced great relief from Yin long before I even knew such a thing as Somatic Tracking was used for pain recovery.

The other style you may like to explore is Restorative which is even gentler. Both types work powerfully with the nervous system and really do create much calm and peace. I think this is important when you have TN because you don’t want anything too jolty or jumpy, at least at first. These types of yoga help calm the over-sensitisation of the nervous system, and Yin often includes emotional healing too.

Plum x

 

I also get a feeling like a gentle wave of soothing when I do beginners chi gong from YouTube. And when I think along negative lines I visualise just breathing through a couple of moves. Marls