I think I've been holding back some anger and I think talking about the situation might help me dig it out. You are all so supportive and I feel like I can talk about this here: I mentioned in another thread that my husband and I had lost a very dear friend to suicide earlier in the summer. He had an overwhelming gambling addiction that only a few family members and close business partners knew about. He was the type of person who would give you the shirt off his back but he just couldn't ask for help for himself. My heart is still broken but from the beginning I have let myself feel the sadness when it comes. I only learned about TMS less than a month ago, but feeling the emotions connected to the loss just felt like the right thing to do even then. The funeral, however, was the most disrespectful service I've ever attended (and I've been to almost 20 funerals). It made me very angry and I tried to forget it pretty soon afterward, but I don't think that's a good thing. I'd rather get it out before it causes me TMS trouble. The preacher didn't even know him, and was chosen by a very judgmental sibling who had never gotten along with my friend. It was more of an "infomercial" for hardcore Christianity than a sermon to comfort the bereaved. He started out with "Well, I didn't know _____, but I know he's in one of two places right now". Um, what? The rest of it was mostly different forms of "be a Christian or go to hell". Other highlights included (and I'm paraphrasing a little) "all humans are filthy sinners, even little children". There were also several older ladies from this man's church who only came to hear the sermon. They didn't know a soul sitting in the pews. That made me mad, too, although I guess that's none of my business, and I guess it's not inherently wrong, but I'm still angry about it. Now, I'm not a Christian myself (and I'm not trying to stir up any religious debates here!) but I've been to many a comforting Christian funeral, so I know they're not rare. I'm even okay with a small "this is the only way to Heaven" message if it's done tactfully, but it shouldn't be the whole funeral service, and you should probably not use the word "filthy" in any context when speaking over someone's casket. Our whole group of friends/co-workers was appalled. Hearing that sermon was like having salt poured in an open wound. My anger is directed more at the family member who put this man in charge of the service. I still don't know what to make of it. I've never had such an experience before.