Day 12 An encouraging moment before I fell off the wagon

I got stuck on day 11 because I had a ton of resistance to journaling about one specific thing on my list (some murders in my town when I was in high school). It felt huge and overwhelming and sad, but also tedious and boring. I'm tired of rehashing it, and thinking about it (I haven't in a while, but did obsessively for years afterwards). Anyway, I've also taken on my first freelance work project since my daughter was born, and it's been a crazy couple weeks with little more than 10 minutes here and there. But something in my head wouldn't let me move forward until I faced that journal entry. Finally did yesterday and it wasn't so bad. I never know if I've "completely" addressed something, but it felt important that I at least start writing. So. Now I'm on day 12, even though I "fell off the wagon" for a couple weeks, so it's actually been more like 30 days since I started the program. But I can't/won't beat myself up for it. One thing I've kept up with at least, is affirmations every day. I've started telling myself multiple times a day that I'm healthy, strong, etc. I want it to sink deep into my brain.

But I wanted to just briefly post about a very exciting moment I had about 2 weeks ago. I was out walking with my daughter, and I wore a pair of shoes that "hurt my feet" when I walk long distances, but I did it as an "F you" to the TMS. And sure enough, after maybe 20 minutes, I started to have pain in my right foot, where it always happens. And I took some deep breaths, and tried the "talk to your brain" method...and was also simultaneously listening to a very encouraging podcast about mind-body stuff (I posted it in the other forum but I'll share again here: http://tonyrobbins.libsyn.com/from-the-vault-tony-robbins-and-deepak-chopra-lifelong-health-the-spiritual-forces-that-shape-our-lives-and-the-immense-power-of-the-mind-body-connection (The Tony Robbins Podcast: From the Vault: Tony Robbins and Deepak Chopra | Lifelong health, the spiritual forces that shape our lives, and the immense power of the mind-body connection)) ... Anyway ... then I specifically shifted my focus to the left foot - the one that felt fine. It was sort of like the Monte Hueftle method I just read about (day 12) of saying "what if right now I DID feel...." So, I was thinking, what if my right foot felt like this left one? And I really tried to FEEL how normal and pain-free it could be.

And holy shit, if that pain didn't disappear. I didn't believe it at first. I was like...woo! A success story!! and I kept stomping my right foot to "make sure" and bring the pain back because it was confusing. But it was gone! And that was the most encouraging example of how stupid TMS is that I've had. Later, it came back just a little bit, but by then I felt like I'd already "won" in the TMS foot pain department.

However, I'm still having wrist pain. This is my current struggle. I think I'm having trouble believing it's TMS. It's "tendonitis" which Dr. Sarno isn't 100% clear on. (Is he? Did I miss something?). So that's my current challenge. Getting rid of the tendonitis which is hindering all the things I do with my baby. But clearly the "shifting focus" technique works for me, so that's what I'll be doing.

 

Congratulations on your breakthrough. Experiences like these are the most powerful way to challenge TMS because they gift us with our own touchstone.

Tendonitis is invariably TMS. It can manifest pretty much anywhere, bless it's cotton socks. You will find posts on tendonitis on the forum but by far the best is this one:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/im-a-tmser-triathlete.262/ (I'm a TMSer Triathlete)

Please don't worry about any wagon-falling. We all do it and it's ok. Better to cut some slack than get intense and obsessive; remember that TMS is a distraction and while you ought be commited to healing, this should be an over-arching lifestyle change rather than making TMS recovery your raison d'être. This is something that may make more sense later.

Onward and upward my dear.

Plum x

 

Thanks, @plum !