Not sure what I was expecting but I'm at Day 3 and there has been nothing new -- nothing I haven't done a thousand times before. The first article on Day 3 (James Schwartz, I think) was impossible to finish on the small screen of my laptop (one of those awkward google articles, like old fashioned micro fiche). What I did read was well written but I was not able to finish it. I guess I am beginning to feel depressed. This happens to me often and is cyclical but the cycle completes in hours, days, or at most a couple of weeks. Once I was totally betrayed by someone who reminded me of my father (also a betrayer). I was depressed for two years but that was an exception. Usually, something cheers me up and I'm happy for awhile until it all starts again. This is not bi-polar, apparently, but the hope and joy does become mildly manic and then turns to anxiety and then depression again. Are mood swings a tms equivalent? Lately, I seem to have a sense of thinking something specific just before I get depressed. Today the word "hopeless" comes to mind. I can keep it at bay while I'm awake but sleeping brings on a wave of negativity. Right now, I am trying Ace1's Steps on the tmshelp.com forum. I had to rewrite every word to make sure I understood what he was saying, a big job, but now I think I have a fair idea of what to do. Can affirmations help me? It seems unlikely but I've promised to give it a good try. As for the Structured Educational Program, I may as well check in once a day and go through the motions. Often gold is found after a lot of digging. Perhaps I will never be able to "cure" myself. Of the (many) methods I've encountered, Sarno's is as good as any. I have had a lot of success with it but, invariably, a new problem pops up and a new cycle of pain begins. I know I am full of anger but also sadness, too. Yesterday, I realized anger and love are the same thing, in different forms. Perhaps so is sadness and joy.